Better Than Thyself
by dancerox1997
Summary: A story where two characters have a tragic past. Will and Tessa meet at a party, and engage in a one-night stand. What happens after? Will they be able to figure out how to work through their beautiful, broken connection despite their pasts? ALL HUMAN! Read this and review please! :) To be safe, rated T/M depending on level of content.
1. The Party

**A/N: Hello readers! For those of you who are reading my TID FanFic "Nightmares, Love, & War", I, unfortunately, have reached a solid writer's block... I'm hoping writing this one will help me jump the obstacle in my path and continue writing it!**

**Please R&R, and enjoy this!**

**If you review my story, I'll respond to it the next time I post something. :)**

**This will be all human!**

**Any thoughts on Wessa, Jessa, Jillessa? Let me know!**

**I need to know your guys' comfortability level with things like swearing, or sexual scenes. This chapter contains some swearing, and next chapter will contain sexual content… but what level of descriptions are you okay with?**

**Also, the actions of the characters will probably be SUPER OOC but I'm hoping to still capture their personalities all the same. It will be AU as well.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters! They belong to Cassandra Clare. **

* * *

TESSA'S POV

Most people party for fun, as a form of release. They do it to let loose and enjoy life while they're young and stupid. A good party is something most students looked forward to at the London Institute after a long, stressful week in hardcore classes.

And then there were the people who look forward to these parties to drink away their problems; get shit-faced drunk, forget all the wrong in the world, and then do things they will surely regret the next morning. But sometimes, if you drank enough, you would get to the point where you don't remember what happened the previous night, like you blacked out. The results of getting so stupidly drunk usually imply that the night before was amazing, even though it couldn't be remembered.

But for me, drinking always guaranteed some form of relief from the pain I felt. Who dates a girl for two years just to reveal to her that he's _gay_? And then continue to tell her everything that was wrong with her, and their relationship. I was so in love with him, it took a while before his words sank in.

It wasn't just that, either. It was what had happened after that, to me and my best friend, Sophie, that caused so much damage.

It's not like I drank often, only occasionally, and maybe only once or twice a month.

That's not too bad, right?

I mean I had a glowing grade point average for a college student—I mean _university_ student. Damn British people always corrected me on that.

I can't help that I'm from New York.

Anyway, getting drunk out of my mind was exactly what I planned on doing that night, to erase what happened right before classes started again. Was it really only four months ago?

I knew it shouldn't bother me anymore, it's been quite a while, but the internal damage Nate and those other men caused me was so severe that I didn't know how long it would take for me to recover. So, in the mean time, I planned on finding my own ways to forget the incident that tore my heart apart, and my body, apart.

And I was determined to do just that tonight, by finding someone else to erase the pain that covered my slate.

I was walking to the quarterback of our school's lake house with my best friend, Sophie. She was particularly chatty tonight, presumably because she's got the hugest crush on our star linebacker, Gideon Lightwood. He was the one who invited her to this party we were headed to.

"Tessa, are you sure my outfit looks alright?" she asked me.

I looked over at her and skimmed her up and down for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. She was wearing dark skintight jeans, black pumps, and a low cut red t-shirt. Her light brown hair was straight as a stick and her soft brown eyes were outlined with smoky eye shadow. No, she didn't look alright. She looked stunning, and any man not to notice that would not be in his right mind.

Of course, Gideon was obviously in his right mind because he was able to look past the silver ridged scar that ran from her left temple to the corner of her lip. It only slightly distorted her features, but she was still drop dead gorgeous. Yes, she wore makeup to cover it, and it was still slightly noticeable, but it was a part of who she was and she had begun to be more confident with it and wear it with pride.

I'll admit I was jealous of Sophie. She had naturally tan skin and a perfect body; average height, leggy, curvy. Men were always checking her out. This could also be a result of her being part of the LI cheerleading squad.  
"Soph, you look amazing," I reassured her with a warm smile. She was one of the few people who knew what happened; the only other person who truly knew the pain we went through together, only a week after me being dumped, simply because she was there with me. I shook my head to clear it of those thoughts. I was here to have a good time.

She beamed at me, her pearly white teeth shining through the darkness. "Thanks, and I will admit that you cleaned up quite well, Theresa Gray. If I were one of those football players, I would definitely hook up with you," she snickered with a smirk on her face.

I laughed a throaty laugh. "Thanks, Soph. If I don't come home tonight, you know that I'll have my phone on me and I'll call you as soon as I can," I told her. We were approaching the house, and the music was blaring through the windows and the closed door.

"Same here. Be safe, Tessa," she warned as she threw open the door and cast a glance at me over her shoulder.

I nodded and smiled back, telling her the same thing, before we separated into our opposite directions; her toward Gideon, me toward alcohol.

I knew that Sophie was at that party for the same reason I was; not just to be with Gideon. Being roommates, we often experienced the repercussions of what happened in similar ways. On seemingly alternating nights, one of use would wake up with nightmares.

Bless her soul. I wish I could have saved her before anything had happened to her.

I sighed, shutting the door behind me and glancing around. The music was pulsing around me. I glanced around, looking for the location of alcohol. I spotted the living room as a makeshift dance floor, and behind it was the kitchen with bottles of liquor lining the counter. I was itching to be dancing amongst the crowd of people, but knew I needed a few drinks before I did anything.

* * *

WILL'S POV

"Will! Where have you been?" My best friend, Jem, called out over the loud music. "Jessamine and her friends showed up a while ago and I think she's looking for you."

I looked at him over the rim of my cup as I took a sip of beer.

Why did he let me throw this party again? Oh yeah, so Jessamine would know she wasn't invited.

"Why did you let them in?" I asked him.

"William, you must know they are not always my first priority," he responded.

I rolled my eyes. "You disloyal bastard!" I joked, handing him my cup. He shook his head. Oops. I always forgot he hated alcohol.

"You've been out of it all week, Will. Is this because you and her broke up?"

I chuckled under my breath. "No, I was over her a long time ago. I dumped _her_ sorry ass, remember? I'm glad she's out of my life."

Jem sighed, then shifting his silver gaze to something over my shoulder. "Speaking of the devil," he muttered before turning away.

I spun on my heel to see Jessamine making her way through the crowd toward me, her face twisted in a smirk; her signature cocky expression. Her long, curly blond hair was swinging gently behind her as her hips swayed while she walked. Her brown eyes sparkled with lust and desire.

"Hey there, sexy," she cooed when she reached me.

I raised my eyebrows at her. "Jessamine, I thought I made it very clear that we're over, and that's that. I don't want anything to do with you," I snapped at her. This girl drove me up the wall for a waste of three months of my life.

She pouted, sticking out her lower lip. "Come on, it doesn't have to mean anything. We can just…" she trailed off.

"We can what?" I demand, getting impatient.

"Well, we can go upstairs…" She winked at me, her too-thick eyelashes batting annoyingly.

I almost gagged when she said that. "Jessamine, get lost. Just because we fucked a few times in the three months we dated does not mean it was good for me. You were lucky to get that far with someone like me," I said.

Her mouth dropped open in surprise and she looked like she was ready to cry. I pushed past her to go refill my cup. On my way over there, I got lost in thought and almost shoved some girl to the ground.

"Shit," she cursed under her breath, grabbing for a napkin and dabbing it on her now wet white t-shirt. I caught an American accent escape her lips.

I forced my eyes away from her see-through shirt, which was already low cut and revealing her cleavage. "I'm so sorry," I spluttered. Why am I apologizing? I'm _William Herondale._ The only person I apologize to is James Carstairs.

A small laugh escaped her lips. "Don't worry about it. I know worse will happen to me tonight," the girl said.

I looked at her and grinned. She was tall and thin, but with feminine curves and long, wavy brown hair tumbling down her back in a thick curtain, almost to her nicely shaped ass. Her stormy grey eyes were surrounded by a thick web of beautiful eyelashes that casted long shadows down her cheekbones when she blinked, and her full lips remained in a smirk.

There was something different about her than other girls at this party. She obviously didn't try hard to get ready for the party—she was dressed in casual attire—yet there was simple beauty to her. She wasn't too plain, but she wasn't so overdone either. And that's what stood out about her.

I shook my head and extended my hand. "I'm Will, by the way. Quarterback of London Institute, majoring in incredible beauty, and exceptional young man."

She laughed again, and her whole face lit up. She shook my hand. "I'm—,"

"What the hell, Will? You turn me down for this cheap bitch? Way to downgrade, you asshole," Jessamine interrupted, shoving a finger in my face.

The brown-haired girl's eyes widened and she started to back up, but I reached out and grabbed hold of her, snaking my arm around her waist. I leaned down and whispered into her ear, "Please play along with this. I'd greatly appreciate it."

I glanced back at Jessamine lazily and smiled innocently. "Jessamine, this is actually my new girlfriend. I don't appreciate you talking about her in such harsh ways."

Jessamine looked shocked once again and appeared about ready to shove the girl away from me, but the girl wrapped her hands around my neck and pulled me down, crushing her lips against mine. I placed one hand on the small of her back and the other in her hair, pulling her farther into me. I could taste the alcohol on this girl's tongue as our tongues intertwined passionately. I didn't want to pull away from her; her kiss was intoxicating and she kissed me with such desire that it made me want things I hadn't wanted for a very long time.

I lifted her up and sat her on the counter behind her, allowing her to wrap her legs around my waist. For the first time in my life, I didn't care who saw me show PDA. I was too drunk to care and the girl's touch left trails of fire down my body. I could hear Jessamine's pointless complaints in the background, and it motivated me enough to pull away and look the girl in the eyes.

"What do you say we get you changed out of this wet shirt of yours?" I asked with a wicked gleaming my eyes.

She smirked and matched my gaze. "Sounds good to me."

* * *

**Sooo… what did you guys think of chapter 1?! Please post a review! Good, bad, anything. :) I'll respond to it on chapter 2!**

**So, obviously, I'm a Wessa shipper, but who knows? Maybe I'll change it up and it'll be Jillessa or Jessa…. But I have to know your preferences!**

**Please follow if you like it, and I'll try and update as soon as possible! :)**

**Also, if you have time, take a look at "Nightmares, Love, & War" and let me know what you think on there.**

**Xoxo! Until next time. :)**


	2. Upstairs

**I AM SO SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT FOR AN UPDATE! I JUST… AHHH BEEN SO WRAPPED UP IN THE DIVERGENT SERIES! Okay, enough caps! So, here's chapter 2! I really hope you enjoy this chapter! Again, sorry for the wait!**

**Also, I have been on a cruise, and unfortunately got extremely sick with a stomach bug and have been confined to the vicinities of my bed!**

**A/N: As I was asked for, the intimate scenes won't be very… uh, descriptive. I'll leave that to the power of imagination! Please read and review! And let me know your thoughts. Read the closing A/N for clues on the next chapter. As the story continues and I get more reviews, I'll respond to them individually.**

**To all my reviewers: I read and took all of your thoughts into account. This will be Wessa, as you all (including guests) asked for! Thank you for reviewing and I hope you continue to do so!**

**Disclaimer: These characters belong to the fabulous Cassandra Clare!**

Better Than Thyself

Chapter 2~Upstairs

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TESSA'S POV

I let Will pull me up the stairs of his huge lake house by my hand. There was a certain amount of satisfaction flowing through my veins after I made out with him in front of that weird girl who called me a cheap bitch. I felt even more proud when he'd asked me to play along as his girlfriend, and then more so when he invited me upstairs. My heart had leapt at the offer, and there was no way I could turn it down.

As he pulled me, I could feel myself getting excited, especially by the fact that I'd scored the hottest guy I'd ever seen, and he's the quarterback of the football team.

No, this wasn't a big deal at all.

I checked him out on the way to his room. He had a great body, and a ridiculously handsome, angular face. He glanced back at me and winked. He continued to drag me down a hallway before stopping at a room. Presumably his.

He let us in the room, and shut the foot behind the two of us. I leaned back against the door to admire him when he switched on the light. I looked him up and down, wondering if there was drool trailing down my chin, but when I touched my hand lightly to my chin, it came away dry.

Thank God.

Will looked at me curiously with his startling blue eyes; a heated, wanting look. Desire coursed through my veins. He stepped toward me, locking the door, before placing his hands on other side of my head, pinning me against the door.

"I'm sorry we got so rudely interrupted. What were you saying your name was?" he asked, leaning down to kiss my neck.

I was fairly drunk by the time Will had bumped into me. It's probably a good thing he did, too, considering where I could've ended up that night. However, I wasn't quite drunk enough that I'd forget what happened that night.

Or maybe I was wrong.

But none of that mattered when he kissed my neck, trailing feather-light kisses down my collarbone.

It distracted me so much that I was barely able to catch my breath enough to choke out a mangled, "Tessa."

He stopped kissing me and looked up at me, his eyes dark. It made me shiver, and I wanted to feel his lips on me again.

"The name suits you well. It's sexy, just like you."

I gasped. I had never been called sexy before. I had never even been called beautiful or pretty before.

I put my hands on his shoulders and lightly pushed him away from me, grinning at him. "Before we do anything, I think we need to get me out of this wet shirt," I told him, winking at him playfully.

See, normal Tessa would've cringed at the mere fact of her even _thinking_ to say something like that. But no—liquid courage made her brave.

He chuckled and reached for the hem of my shirt, yanking it off me roughly and throwing it to the ground. My body responded to his touch with goose bumps and I shivered lightly.

I bit my lip as I pulled his own shirt over his head. My eyes widened at the sight before me. I examined his impressive, perfect six-pack as he dragged me toward the bed. And oh my, could his biceps make any girl melt.

"What?" he asked.

Had I spoken that out loud? Oops.

"I said you're like a photo shopped Hollister model," I blurted out before I could stop myself. Normally I don't get embarrassed by my big mouth when I'm drunk, but for some reason I get all flushed in the face. Maybe it's because of who he was and how attractive I found him.

Will grinned at me, perfect white teeth gleaming. "Thank you," he said. His fingers slide into my hair at the nape of my neck, gently tugging, making my neck bend back. He leaned down to kiss me feverishly. I got lost in the moment, letting myself melt into his touch, his kiss.

Somewhere in the back of my mine, I was wondering where this would end up, but decided to let it go and enjoy myself in a relaxed state of mind.

* * *

WILL'S POV

Tessa and I lied next to each other, our bare skin touching, her leg hooked over my waist. The sheets on my bed were pulled tightly around us, covering our bodies. I glanced down at her. She was asleep, curled into me. I stroked her hair, unable to sleep.

I don't normally sleep with random girls, but who was I turn down someone so attractive? She didn't restrain herself in any way once she was introduced to my bed.

Or maybe that was just the alcohol speaking.

Either way, I rather enjoyed myself. She was much better under the streets than Jessamine was, and a small part of me was thankful for that. I didn't think I could handle more sex like that.

At first I had thought that the whole thing between me and her was going to be a set up to see how easy I was, but when she fell asleep with her head on my chest afterwards, all my worries went away.

I wasn't sure if I should let her stay the night, but again, something struck me that she was different. Out of the few girls I'd ever slept with, I had never been with someone like Tessa; cautious with what she did, but craving for new things.

I sighed, finally feeling the pull of sleep, when Tessa stirred. I looked down at her, and her big grey eyes blinked open sleepily. She gave me a tired smile.

"Can't sleep?" she croaked.

I shook my head. "What about you?"

She shrugged and frowned. "I had a nightmare."

"What was it about?"

She laughed quietly, but I could tell it wasn't a sincere laugh. "Don't worry about it. Maybe someday I'll tell you."

There was silence between us for a few moments. What was I supposed to say?

"How was it for you, honestly?"

I looked back down at her. "Honestly? Definitely the best I've had."

Tessa snickered. "Do you say that to all the girls you sleep with?"

"No, and to be honest, I haven't really slept with that many girls." My mind wanders off suddenly, picturing an angry Camille above me with a raised hand. Her yells, screams, they terrified me. Then of course, my first year in college I spent my spare time trying to rid myself of Camille. It started with Tatiana Lightwood, then progressed to a few others I was too drunk to remember the names of. I always returned to Tatiana.

"Well…" she said, probably not knowing what else to say. She looked sad, remorseful even, and avoided eye contact with me.

I removed my hand from hers, something I hadn't been conscious I was doing. I placed my hand under her chin, tipping her face up to look at me.

"Hey what's wrong?" I asked.

Tessa drew in a deep breath and met my eyes. "I've just been through a lot in the past few months. I think about it sometimes, like how my life has started to go downhill after what happened."

"Well, what happened?" I wondered out of pure curiosity. I don't exactly know why I care. I never engage in meaningful conversations after sleeping with someone.

She shook her head, closing her eyes. "It's a long story," was all she said. I could tell she was drifting off again, but I wasn't ready for her to do that just yet. I didn't want her to go to sleep upset.

So I made an intimate move I had never done before.

I hugged her tightly to me and gently pressed my lips to her temple. I asked a simple question any man would ask, but one that would change my life: "When will you tell me what happened?"

I asked it quietly, barely audible.

"When you can prove to me that you're really trustworthy," she mumbled drowsily. A few seconds later, her breathing changed and I knew that she was asleep.

Even though she was almost asleep when she said it, I knew she was serious, and I knew from that point on that I wanted to prove to her that I was trustworthy.

Moments later, after losing myself in her quiet breathing, I find myself drifting off as well. I fell asleep to thoughts of a beautiful brunette, sexy but troubled, and push away the ones of a curly-headed blonde standing above me, her hand raised.

* * *

**Sooo….. Will? I mean really… WILL!**

**Yes, I know that this chapter wasn't very productive, but I haven't updated in a long time! Plus I think this chapter lays a foundation for what is soon to come! :p **

**Do you guys like the softness of Will in this chapter? I promise his sarcasm will appear in the next few chapters! **

**And as you may have guessed… they both have troubled pasts, but that's the beauty of this story!**

**As I said in my above A/N, I mentioned me going on a cruise. I have a beautiful idea growing in my mind for a story, and I think it's going to be a Divergent FanFic. Anyone read those books? Let me know if you'd like that. :p**

**Please R&R! I love hearing from my readers! You guys are awesome and supportive and motivate me to keep going with this story! So please continue to do so and I promise I'll update sooner! Next chapter will be titled "The Morning After" (classic, right?) and it's going to be about Will being himself and walking away when he finds Tessa gone the next morning. O.o**

**Xoxo!**

**~Caitlyn**


	3. The Day After

**Hey guys! This update is sooner right? :p **

**Hope you enjoy this chapter! I originally had this story saved as something else, with different characters (Will—brown hair, green eyes, and Sloane—blue eyes, auburn hair). I wrote it about a year ago, and when I moved, I had completely forgotten about it. I wanted an all-human Wessa FanFic, so I found this one and started converting it. That story, however, was very un-Will/Tessa-like and was quite detailed, so I of course have had to do a lot of cutting and pasting. Either way, I think it's coming along really well! :)**

**Thanks to Morning and Eve: your review was awesome! Thank you! And don't worry, the email came pretty soon, right?**

**Dislaimer: I own none of the characters, just the plot!**

* * *

Chapter 3~The Morning After

TESSA'S POV

I woke up the next morning with a slight throbbing in my head. Will and I were tangled around each other, and I had to carefully pry his arms off me in order to escape his grip without waking him up. I usually didn't stay the night after I slept with a guy, but when I did, it was because I was too drunk to move. Last night, I really wasn't that drunk, and I still remembered every detail of evening.

So what did I decide to do?

I gently got off the bed, my body aching from Will. I started to rummage through the clothes on the floor to find my belongings. I must have been too loud because I heard Will begin to stir on the bed. I froze in the middle of pulling on my jeans and looked over at him, hoping he wouldn't catch me in the act of leaving.

He didn't wake up.

I sighed in relief.

I was about to pull my t-shirt over my head when I realized it was still damp and reeked of beer. I frowned at it, then strolled over to Will's closet and peered inside at all the t-shirts hanging up. I smirked at my selection, pondering what I should choose.

I reached in at random and pulled a silky-feeling shirt off a hangar. I looked down at the fabric hanging from my fingers. It was black with a white number and had gold embroidery, stitching a last name across the back. _Herondale._ I gulped, realizing that this was a jersey of his.

I heard Will stirring again from the bed, the crinkling of the sheets unmistakable. Panicking, I shrugged the jersey over my head, figuring I'd return it later. I balled my dirty shirt up in my hands and quietly left the room.

I bounded down the stairs, thinking no one would be awake at seven o'clock on a Saturday morning. I reached the bottom when the front door swung open, revealing a girl who looked strikingly similar to Will. She had long, thick black hair and big blue eyes. She seemed frantic, and her eyes landed on me. They changed to confusion, and they narrowed.

"Who are _you_?" she demanded.

My cheeks flushed. "My name is Tessa—,"

The girl made some wild hand gesture. "Okay, Tessa, have you seen my brother, Will? He's tall and looks a lot like me? Black hair, blue eyes?"

I nodded solemnly. "He's upstairs sleeping, but I wouldn't wake him if I were you. At least not until I leave," I told her, hoping my eyes looked pleading.

Her eyes flicked up and down my body, and my face heated up again. Her lips pursed. "I'll make sure to let him know you have his jersey he has to wear tonight." She breezed past me, climbing a few steps before turning around.

"Oh, Tessa?" she said.

I paused at the front door. "Yes?"

"I'm Cecily," Cecily said with a smile, then added, "Also, beware. Jessamine is out there, still drunk and singing her heart out for Will."

My eyes widened, and I pictured the blonde from last night. "Wait, Cecily. I can't go out there, at least not alone. I didn't drive here, either, so I'll have to walk past her and that risks her running after me."

Cecily's eyes shifted to the upstairs landing and then back down at me. She sighed and walked toward me. "Come on, I'll give you a ride. Will can wait. Besides, he's not much of a morning person anyway."

I followed Cecily outside to see she was right. Jessamine was swaying back and forth, her hands over her heart, bellowing an unrecognizable song. Her eyes drifted over to me, and they hardened instantly.

She stumbled over to me, shoving a finger toward my direction. "You're the little _slut_ that took _my_ Will away!" she screamed.

I opened my mouth to respond, but Cecily gripped my arm and dragged me over to a small silver car—presumably hers.

She drove me all the way to my dorm building, both of us climbing out. I thanked her, and she smiled and waved.

* * *

I opened the door to my room. Sophie was lying on her bed, tapping away on her phone. Her gaze shifted to the door, and she sprung up.

"Where _were_ you?" she wondered.

"I stayed at Will's house," I replied in a mock-nonchalant tone.

Sophie's perfectly-plucked eyebrows raised. "Did you stay _with_ Will?"

I turned away from her to place my shirt in our pile of dirty laundry. That was a mistake, though, considering I was wearing his jersey.

"By the _Angel,_ Tessa! You did! You have to tell me all about it!" she squealed.

I sat on my bed and rubbed my temples. "Can I have an aspirin first?"

I swallowed a pill, then launched into the story at her expense. When I was finished, I had to ask her about her night.

"How did everything go with Gideon?"

She smiled mischievously, her scar twisting with her lips. "Better than you'd ever know! He's such a gentleman. He didn't try anything the entire night…"

Sophie kept talking, but I zoned out, thinking of Will. Blue eyes, looking at me over thick eyelashes. Black hair, tumbling over his forehead.

* * *

Later that day, I found myself in the LI library. This place was huge, easy to get lost in. I was searching for a new book to read; a classic, if possible. I found a copy of _A Tale of Two Cities_, my favorite book. I smiled at it and went to sit down in a chair by a fireplace.

I was trying to focus when I heard two voices that were making it impossible to do so. One was distinctly female, and—more annoyingly—needy, whining. The other voice was low—male— making it hard to make out the words he was speaking.

"… please, just for me. It would mean a lot to me. You can think of it as a good luck charm before your game tonight," the girl pleaded, her voice babyish.

"No, Aline. Do you really think that Jessamine would forgive you if you tried to do something with me?" The male voice said.

I could almost hear the girl, Aline, pout. "She doesn't have to know."

I gritted my teeth and stood up. All I wanted was some peace and quiet, and there was no way I was going to get that with this girl whining. I marched over to where the voices were coming from. I turned into an aisle of bookcases and caught a glimpse of black hair, a masculine figure leaning against a bookshelf, his back to me. He was blocking my view of his face and the girl.

But I recognized him instantly.

It was Will.

I smirked and approached him. I could hear the girl's voice more clearly now.

"... months since that party, Will. You guys weren't even dating then. I technically had you first, so I don't understand why it would be such a big deal," Aline begged.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed Will's shoulder, turning him to face me. It must have surprised him because he stumbled slightly, and his eyes widened when they saw me.

"Will, I've been waiting for you!" I said, quickly glancing at the girl beside him. She had long dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. She was wearing too much makeup and looked at me like she wanted to kill me.

I smiled at her before looking at Will again, who was looking at me in confusion. I wrapped my arms around his neck and crushed my lips against his. He didn't hesitate or try to push me away, instead wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer to him, his mouth moving against mine.

Just like the night before, I could hear Aline's whimpering like she was Jessamine. I grinned against Will's mouth, enjoying the pleasure of making a fool out of someone like her. Aline stomped away, and when I could no longer hear her in any way, I pulled away from Will and opened my eyes.

"Tessa, what the hell—," he started, his face flushing.

I pressed a finger to his lips. "I know. You don't have to say anything."

Will grasped my wrist in his hand and pushed it away from him. "No, I mean what the hell was that? I could have handled that! And how dare you sleep with me and then leave before I wake up? You could've left a note with your number or something! I mean since you have my jersey and all, which, by the way, I had to find out from my sister since she gave you a ride. It's the least you could've done," he snapped. His body was tense, his eyes hard, jaw locked.

I heard a loud hushing from somewhere in the library.

I rolled my eyes. "I panicked, okay? It scared me that I remembered every detail from last night. When I showed up at that party I was planning on getting completely wasted. But you didn't let me get that far," I whispered.

His eyes softened, but only a little bit. "I'm sorry for interfering with your plans?" He said sarcastically.

"And as for that Aline girl, I was only trying to _help. _I was also hoping it would give me more peace and quiet," I remarked.

Will's eyes looked me up and down. "You're wearing my jersey still," he noted.

I sighed, wanting out of that situation, that room. I crossed my arms, gripping the hem of the jersey, and pulled it over my head. I should've been embarrassed, or humiliated, but I wasn't. I could feel my face was red and hot. I tossed the shirt at Will. He caught it, but was shocked. He looked at me in awe.

"There's your damn jersey. Sorry for taking it. You're right, I should've done something. But I didn't. See you around, Will," I said. I stormed off, wrapping my arms around my torso now that it was bare.

Scared I would get reported, or worse, suspended, I peered around the corner of a bookshelf and saw no one around. I bolted for the table I was sitting at and grabbed my LI hoodie, yanking it over my head. I gathered my things and rushed out of the library before anyone could stop me.

WILL'S POV

I stared after Tessa, clutching my jersey in my hands. What was I supposed to do? Follow her? No, she clearly didn't want me to, considering she was half-naked.

I touched my fingers to my lips, wanting to feel hers against mine again. I was so surprised to see her there, behind me.

But, wow, was that attractive. She just whipped off my jersey with no shame. Everything about her was attractive, from her long hair, to the sway of her hips.

I shook my head. I shouldn't be thinking these things. I had a game to mentally prepare for.

* * *

That night, I was in the locker room a couple hours before our game. Jem was beside me, looking through our playbook with me. We were both sitting on a bench wearing our warm ups.

He looked up, suddenly, his silver eyes gleaming. There was just something about Jem that always made me comfortable and relaxed. Maybe it was because he was so... Pale in comparison to me. We were opposites.

I had black hair, his was silver (some hereditary disease—nothing dangerous). My eyes were dark blue, his were silver. I was tall and broad, he was tall and thin.

"Will?" He asked.

"Hm?" I said, not looking up from the playbook in my lap.

"Where were you last night? You disappeared. I mean I saw you arguing with Jessamine, but after that I didn't see you again," he told me softly. That was another thing about him. He was always soft and gentle and quiet. Nothing like me.

Yet he accepted everything about me; my past, and what it made me today.

I briefly glanced up. "I was with another girl. We didn't leave my room."

"Another girl? Who was it?"

I shrugged. "Her name is Tessa."

Jem stiffened beside me. This made me turn away from the book and face him.

"Tessa?" He choked out. His eyes were distant.

I narrowed my eyes. "Yes, why?"

His eyes focused on me and hardened instantly. He'd never looked at me like that before.

"Tall brunette?"

I nodded, swallowing. "Jem, what's going on?"

He rose, his hands shaking with anger. His face was flushed. I stood to meet his eyes. He placed his hands on my chest and shoved me away.

"You _slept_ with her?" He demanded.

I opened my mouth, but couldn't think of anything to say. His anger scared me. So I just nodded again.

"Will, do you not know what happened to her this summer? Do you have _any_ idea what you've done?"

I frowned. "Jem, what the hell are you talking about? Why does it even matter to you? How do you even know her?"

Jem shook his head, his hair catching the light. "It was all over the news. She's a really good friend of mine, Will."

With that, he brushed past me and left the locker room. His anger was gone, but I didn't miss the disappointment in his eyes. And when Jem is disappointed, you should be ashamed of yourself.

* * *

TESSA'S POV

"Tessa, do you want to come with me to put up the signs for the players? The ones that have like quotes or rhymes for their names?" Sophie asked me. She was standing by her bed, sorting through several posters of black, gold, and white paper. She was in her uniform, her hair pulled tightly up, her bangs in a bump.

I stood up and stretched, setting my book down on my nightstand. I grinned at her as she looked over her shoulder, her eyebrows raised in question.

"Sure, I'd love to! But only if we can stop and give Jem his gift when the game starts," I told her.

She laughed. "Of course we can! We always do."

Before every game Jem has, Sophie and I run through the locker room during their huddle and give him little gifts, like a candy lei and kisses on the cheek that leave bright red marks on his skin. Of course, I dressed in gold clothing and painted all revealing skin gold so I'm not recognized as easily; Sophie stayed in her uniform.

* * *

"Ready, Tessa?" Sophie wondered, peering into the locker room.

"Of course," I muttered. I had nervous butterflies because I knew Will was in there, and I was not in the mood to see him at all. This time, though, we had gathered a few other cheerleaders to come with us, along with a few other girls; Cecily dressed in gold with me, here to support her brother, Isabelle, a good friend of me and Sophie, and Clary, another good friend.

Sophie threw open the door, and we all barged in, screaming, "Go LI boys!" in a chant.

Sophie held a sash scrawled with "King of LI Football" and I gripped the candy lei. We saw Jem standing with the team, his silver hair pointing him out. I dropped the lei around his neck and Sophie adjusted the sash over his shoulder. The other girls broke through the huddle and kissed some of the guys on the cheeks, others giving hugs.

Sophie and I leaned in together and pressed our lips to his cheeks. He laughed, his silver eyes alight. He wrapped both his arms around us and pulled us into a hug.

"You guys are great," he told us.

I grinned up at him. "We try to be as supportive as we are allowed to be." Sophie smiled at me.

"Alright, ladies! Thank you for dropping by. We will be out soon and you can cheer for us in the stands," their coach, Coach Starkweather, barked.

I looked at Jem one last time, and noticed him glaring across the huddle. I followed his gaze and saw it was Will, who was looking at me longingly. I flushed and glanced at Sophie. She noticed it, too, but we had to leave so nothing else was said or done.

* * *

**Hello! So did you enjoy this chapter? Let me know by PM or reviewing! :) I know this whole "what happened to Tessa and Sophie" thing probably makes you curious, but you'll know soon enough! And yes... Jem is a good friend of Sophie and Tessa, and he will become more prominent in the next few chapters!**

**So... How's the Wessa?**

**And who knows... Maybe something happened between Jem and Tessa :O**

**Let me know what you think!**

**Also, most of my writing is inspired through music, so at the beginning of every chapter I'll post the songs that inspired me! Starting next chapter. :)**

**Xoxo!**

**~Caitlyn**


	4. I Want To Be With You

**Chapter 4 is now up and ready to read! :) As promised, I will respond to each person who reviewed chapter 3! Here goes:**

**Guest: I****'****ll keep the Wessa, but there may be a little bit of Jessa in here****… ****whether it was in the past or present or near future, well, you****'****ll have to wait and find out. :O**

**bow down to me peasants: I****'****m so glad it brightened up your day! I hope the rest of my chapters will continue to do the same! :)**

**Guest: Yes, the Jem-Tessa mystery****… ****Man, do I have some things in store for that part of the story! Stay posted to find out! ;P**

**ShelbyHerondale: Confident Tessa will definitely be prominent in this story! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story as well! Also, several songs sparked this chapter. I was actually sitting in Psychology and decided to write the whole chapter in 55 minutes. I****'****m surprised it came out as well as it did! But I****'****m so glad that you all enjoy it! I was watching ****"****Brain Games****"****. My playlist consisted of: ****'****I Want It That Way****' ****by Backstreet Boys (this song I listened to several times on repeat****—****the whole party concept fit well with my theme), ****'****Thinking About You****' ****by Frank Ocean (I****'****m not sure why, but something about the song helped me write the scenes between Will and Tessa), and ****'****Hold On Tight****' ****by Justin Bieber (I know, I know, I know****… ****but this a really good song, and the library scene evolved from this song). So there you go! They aren****'****t really relevant, but the next chapters will definitely be more relevant to the songs I listen to!**

**M. MarvinN. Nancy: I****'****m so glad you****'****re enjoying it! You****'****re positive reviews motivate me to write more!**

**Morning and Eve: Yes****… ****I know the email came very soon! I think you motivated me the most to power out this chapter! So thank you! :P Yes, Wessa will continue to get cuter! As for the Sophie-Tessa-Jem thing****…****. I have a really tragic event that has happened to Sophie and Tessa (I haven****'****t decided whether or not Jem should be included, but he might have to be, since it was kind of inferred****—****what do you think?). Of course, Will has a pretty screwed up past as well. The two events will be posted at the same time. And feel free to take that idea from me! :) **

**Thalia (Guest): I'm glad! Stay posted!**

**Willitbe: Here's more for you to read!**

**Malika DaughterOfWisdom: They're amazing books! Finish it soon!**

**MarijaV: You're in for the long haul! Wessa is dominant in this book! And... Maybe, possibly, a very small portion of Jessa. **

**Okay! Whew. Feel free to respond to those ^^ and to this chapter in your next review! :)**

**I****'****ll give you guys my playlist at the end of the chapter!**

**Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER (I think I forgot this in previous chapters): I DON****'****T OWN THE CHARACTERS! Only the plot! :)**

* * *

Chapter 4~I Want To Be With You

WILL'S POV

It was a miracle we won our game last night with me as distracted as I was. Coach noticed I wasn't in my game mode. He tried to get me to talk about, but I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be talking about.

Was it that I was confused as to why Jem was so angry with me? Was it that I didn't understand the dirty glares he was shooting me all throughout the game?

Or was it because of my conflicted thoughts about Tessa? Yes, Tessa. Beautiful, troubled Tessa. Was it because we had such a great night together, and then I woke up and she was gone? Was I angry about it like I said I was? Or was I disappointed?

Or maybe it was how she swooped in and saved me from Aline? Was that what it was? Maybe I was unsure of why she felt like I needed to be "saved" from anything. I'm _William Herondale. _I didn't need to be "saved" from anything.

But I did like the way she kissed me.

And I liked that I could still feel the tingling sensation I got from her lips.

Wait, no I don't.

I shouldn't enjoy that.

And then when she took off my jersey the way she did...

_No. _I shook my head vigorously and rolled over in my bed so I was lying on my side.

That was a mistake. I could still smell her in my sheets. I smelled her perfume on my jersey last night. And I couldn't get that out of my head.

Damn it. What was going on with me?

I sat up and dragged my hands down my face. I glanced at the clock. 4:39 am. I sighed.

"Jem!" I called, crawling out my bed. I walked to my door in the dark, throwing it open and going down the hallway toward Jem's room.

"James Carstairs," I said, knocking rapidly on his door before barging in, only to find him standing up, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"William, what in the _hell_ are you waking me up at-" he looked at the clock on his nightstand, "—4:40 in the morning for?"

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. "I want to know why you're so angry with me," I demanded.

Jem ran his hand through his hair before sitting down at the edge of his bed. "Will, it's a long story. And I'm not exactly _angry_ with you. I'm just... disappointed."

I threw my hands up in the air. "How was I supposed to know anything happened to her before I did anything? She complied _willingly, _James."

He flinched. "I don't want to hear about your adventures under the sheets with her, Will! She's a very good friend of mine. Both her and Sophie are, and they've been through a lot, Will."

I shoved my hands through my hair. "She did mention she got a nightmare, and how she constantly thought about... whatever happened, and how her life has gone downhill since. What happened, Jem?"

He shook his head. "That isn't for me to tell. If you want to know, you have to gain her trust so she can tell you."

I looked at Jem more carefully, and saw faint lines of sorrow etched in his face.

Whatever this was, it wasn't something to be taken lightly.

* * *

I sat outside the girl's dormitory in my car, contemplating where to go from there. It was 5:30 in the morning on a Sunday.

I couldn't imagine anyone who would willingly be up at this hour.

But then I saw the doors open, and a tall, slender girl stumbled out. Light from the porch lights poured over her. Long, dark brown hair was plastered to her face, her collarbone, and was tousled around her head.

Light reflected off her pale skin, revealing a sheen sheet of sweat coating her face, her collarbone. Her hair fell in strings, like it was wet.

She doubled over, gasping for air. That much was obvious from where I was sitting. I sat up straight, examining her more closely.

Tessa. It was Tessa.

She collapsed on the front steps, pulling her knees to her chest, and leaned her head against one of the columns in the front.

I pushed open the car door and walked toward her. I had to talk to her. I had to comfort her.

"Tessa?" I asked gently, stopping a few feet in front of her.

Her head snapped up. Her grey eyes were wide and frantic, eyelashes wet with tears rolling down her face.

She quickly wiped them away and stood up.

"Will? What are you doing here?" She asked.

I gulped. Why _was_ I here? "I, uh, I wanted to talk to you," I mumbled, looking down at my shoes.

She laughed softly. "What, at 5:30 in the morning?"

I shrugged. "I wanted to make sure you're doing okay," I admitted, my voice hushed.

A few tears slipped down Tessa's cheeks and she looked away from me, wiping them away in aggravation.

"I'm fine, Will. You shouldn't be so concerned for me," she replied.

"Jem told me something happened to you and Sophie a few months ago, but he won't tell me what it is. I thought maybe you would."

She shook her head. "All I want to do is forget about it. I don't want to talk about it. Ever."

I stared at her. She looked tired. Dark circles stood out profoundly against her skin under her eyes. Her eyes looked darker when she was crying, and her body was tense.

"How do you make yourself forget about it, Tess? Maybe it would be healthy to talk about it with _someone. _It might take a load off you," I suggested.

Tessa's eyes darkened. "How do you think I forget about it, Will? Why do you think I slept with you? Why do you think I was drinking? What did you think after I told you I had a nightmare?"

I winced. I didn't know she was using me to forget her problems. It stung.

"I don't know Tessa! That's why I'm asking! I'm trying to understand you."

"Well, stop trying! You don't know me. I hardly think you'd want to," she snapped, placing her hands on her hips.

"I do want to. That's why I'm trying to understand you," I whispered, stepping closer to her. I set my hands on both sides of her face. I pushed the hair off her cheeks and tucked it behind her ears.

She shook her head, more tears falling when she closed her eyes. "Will—,"

"Shh," I whispered, placing my lips on hers gently.

Tessa didn't fight me or try to push me away. Instead she gently opened her mouth, prodding my lips with her tongue. I opened my mouth and our tongues met.

It wasn't enough for her. Her hands tangled through my hair, pulling me closer, closer, until there wasn't any space left between us, until we were breathing each other's air. Her kiss was urgent, her touch leaving trails of white-hot fire as she moved them down my neck, my shoulders, my chest, and finally settling on the skin under my shirt, on my ribs.

I gasped. She had no idea what she was doing to me.

I placed one hand on the back of her neck, the other on the small of her back, and forced her even closer to my body, hoping she could feel every inch of me the way I could feel every inch of her.

A little voice in the back of my mind told me to stop, told me it wasn't a good idea to be doing this. I realized it was Jem's voice.

And as much as I wanted Tessa, I knew Jem was right. This girl was broken—very much like I was—and this wasn't the way to deal with things. I was the one who knew that best.

I gently pulled my lips away from her, leaving just enough room to speak.

"Tessa—," I started.

"Will, can you come up to my room with me?" Tessa asked, breathless.

I opened my eyes so I could see her. I examined her face. She was flushed, her cheeks now dry.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? Is this how you want to deal with things?" I wondered, speaking softly.

Her eyes searched mine, pleading. She bit her lip and nodded. "Yes, this is what I want to do. It'll help—it'll help distract me. Plus I—," she stopped, frowning. Her hands started to slide out from under my shirt.

But I didn't want her to push me away. I didn't want her to break contact with me.

So I grabbed her wrists and held them firmly in place. "You what, Tessa? Talk to me, please," I said.

Her grey eyes met mine again. "I'm being honest with you when I tell you I want you up there with me. You make me feel… safe. I don't know who you are, really, or why I feel this way around you, but I do. So… will you?"

I gulped. I knew I shouldn't. I knew it, but she was begging me, and she had already gotten me into a mood. So I nodded, and she sighed in relief. I let her pull me inside the building, where she turned and placed a finger to her lips, and quietly snuck me upstairs.

We climbed the staircases, and exited onto the fifth floor. She led me toward the end of the hallway, stopping at the last door on the left, and pushed the door open. When she closed the door behind her, she turned slowly to face me.

I looked around her room, smiling to myself. There were two full beds on either side of the room with small white nightstands next to each one. At the foot of both beds, up against the wall, were white dressers. Two closets stood on either side of the door.

For a dorm, it was spacious. And fairly nice.

When I looked at Tessa, her face was red and she looked embarrassed.

"I know, I know, it's nothing like your cabin—," she started.

But I didn't let her finish. I crushed my lips against hers in a bruising kiss, pushing her against the door and tugging at her clothing.

She wanted me here for one reason, and I was going to give it to her. If she needed me for any reason, I was going to be there, no matter what. Like right now.

She wanted me in _that way_. And I wasn't going to let her down.

I could imagine her beneath me, moaning my name in the sexy way she did at the party. I wanted to make her feel good. But most of all, I wanted to help her forget what happened, even if it meant doing something I shouldn't. I wanted to help her. I wanted to be there for her.

I wanted to be her strength.

I wanted to be her anchor.

I wanted to earn her trust.

And I had no idea why.

* * *

TESSA'S POV

I awoke to an utterance of surprise and the splashing of liquid against the floor. I felt a warm body next to mine stir.

My eyes flashed open and I sat up, clutching my blankets to my chest. Will was sitting up next to me, rubbing his eyes. His chest was bare, revealing a few dark tattoos and beautiful sculpted abs—

Wait.

Will.

He'd fallen asleep here.

I looked at the door.

Sophie.

We'd been caught.

She was staring at us with a mixture of shock and horror. The door was partially open behind her, and coffee cups spilled their contents across the dark wood floors of our dorm room.

"_Tessa_! What were you _thinking_, letting him stay the night?" Sophie whisper-yelled.

My mind was still foggy with sleep. "I, uh—what?"

"Sophie? Tessa? Is everything alright in there?" Agatha, our dorm director, called from the hallway.

Oh no.

She couldn't find Will in here.

"Everything's fine, Agatha!" Sophia replied. "I just saw a spider—but don't worry, Tessa killed it!"

"Will, get up," I snapped, reaching forward and yanking my robe off my bed post and quickly wrapping it around my body. I crawled over him and out of my bed. "_Now._"

His dark blue eyes gleamed wickedly at me and he flashed me a dazzling smile that made my insides churn, but he gripped my sheets around his waist and stood up. I threw open my closet door and shoved him inside.

"_Don__'__t_ come out until I say so."

Agatha's plump figure pushed open the door with the palm of her hand, revealing her plump figure and grey hair pulled tightly into a bun. Her eyebrows were raised and she was smirking. I grabbed a few towels from mine and Sophie's dirty laundry pile and began mopping up the coffee spill.

"A spider, huh?" she asked, her voice deep and raspy. "I remember this one time there was a giant spider in my tent in Afghanistan—you ladies know where that is, right?"

Sophia and I looked at each other and refrained from rolling our eyes. We knew it was going to be a while. But we couldn't really blame her. She was lonely.

"Well, they have huge spiders there. They're called camel spiders and are larger than your head. Now imagine the speed they run at. Well, anyway," she continued, "there was one outside my tent one morning. I chased it down, shooting wildly at it with my army-issued gun."

I laughed. "If I ever ran into one of those, I'd be frozen in pure terror! You must be very brave," I complimented her with a sweet smile, hoping it would make her leave.

"Oh, I am. I've seen a lot of scary things, ladies, and a silly little spider was not one of them. Anyway, I gotta go check on the other girls. I'll see you two later," she said, turning and closing the door behind her.

Sophie spun toward me. "Tessa, what the _hell_—,"

"It wasn't her fault," Will piped up from the doorway of my closet. He was leaning against the door frame looking marvelous in the morning light.

Why did I leave that morning when this sight could've awaited me?

Sophie gaped at him. "Tessa, I'm going to let you deal with this one on your own," she said before leaving the room.

Will looked at me and raised his eyebrows. "What, no 'good morning, Will, it's nice to see you stayed'?"

I rolled my eyes and grinned. I stepped toward him and pressed my lips to his. He groaned.

"Tess, you're going to get me—," he started, putting his hands on my waist and squeezing gently.

"Up there? Yeah, that was the point," I responded. I tilted my head back to look at him.

He was tall. Even at my five foot eight inches, he towered over me.

He smiled and leaned in for another kiss.

"So how are you going to break me out of here?" he wondered.

I absentmindedly twirled my fingers through his hair. It felt normal, casual even. I could get used to this.

Wait, what was I thinking?

I hardly knew the guy.

"Well…" I glanced at the clock. It was ten in the morning. "Agatha usually goes down for breakfast at 10:30."

"And until then…" he muttered, bending down to kiss my neck.

"I think you know."

I giggled, turning the two of us around and playfully pushing him toward my bed.

* * *

I laid next to Will in the midst of our lovemaking, still catching our breaths and letting the sweat dry. My eyes flicked to the clock on my nightstand again. It was now 10:54.

Damn.

That was impressive.

His phone started vibrating on my nightstand.

Will moaned and hugged me tighter to his chest. "Don't make me answer it. I'm too tired."

I laughed and wriggled out of his grip. "I'll get it."

I picked up the iPhone and answered it without looking at the caller ID.

"This is Will's phone, how can I help you?" I asked, locking eyes with Will.

The dark blue bore into my grey and my breath hitched in my throat. I grinned at him, and he returned the smile.

"Tessa?" Jem's voice came through the other end.

I froze. "Um… no. This is not Tessa," I said instinctively.

"Theresa Gray, I know that this is you. I would know your voice from anywhere," he snapped. "Where the hell is Will?"

I placed my hand over the speaker so I could talk to Will without Jem overhearing. "It's Jem. He wants to talk to you."

Will's face slackened, and he appeared to be contemplating something. A moment later, he spoke.

"Tell him I'm busy and that I'll call him later," Will said.

I smiled and leaned down to kiss his cheek before removing my hand from the speaker.

"Jem, Will isn't available right now. Can I take a message?" I asked.

There was silence for a moment.

"Tessa, I know you're sleeping with Will. Do you really think this is the right way to handle things after what happened?" he said finally.

All playfulness in my demeanor dissipated instantly. I felt my whole body slump against the wall my bed is pushed up to.

But then I realized something.

Will had said practically those exact words to me earlier that morning. Which meant that Jem had to have spoken to Will—Will had, in fact, mentioned that Jem told him I'd been through a traumatic event.

So Will was taking such serious precautions because Jem practically _told_ him I was fragile and shouldn't handle my problems by using people to distract me from it.

I was _not_ fragile.

And I was learning to cope with the repercussions in my own way.

This discovery made me sit upright. I gritted my teeth.

"James, I know what you've been saying to Will about me. And quite frankly I don't appreciate it at all. You think I'm delicate and that I'm going to break at any minute, but in reality, I'm handling my problems just fine," I snapped.

"Tessa, I'm only trying to look—,"

"Yeah. I know. You're only trying to look out for me. But you know what? I'm figuring this out my own way, Jem. I don't need you parenting me and belittling me so you can continue to tell me over and over what is the right thing to do and what is the wrong thing to do." I hung up the phone and set it back on my nightstand, reaching over Will to do so.

"Hey," he murmured, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me down to him. "Are you okay?"

I curled into his chest and nodded. "I'm fine. He just treats me like I'm a child after everything that happened. But I don't need him to parent me, I need him to be my friend and support me."

Will cleared his throat. I looked up at him. "Jem is like that with me, too. That's just how he is. He's a very protective person, you know. When I mentioned you yesterday in the locker room, he got really angry with me and told me what a mistake it was and that I don't even realize what I did."

He squeezed me. "And I tried asking him what it is that I did wrong, but he won't tell me. How am I supposed to understand what I did if no one tells me? I mean, I guess he was referring to me sleeping with you, but I don't quite… I'm not entirely sure… I just don't know _why_ it was wrong. I really would like to know why, Tess."

I gulped. _Tess._ I liked that nickname.

"I told you I'd tell you when you proved to me that you were trustworthy," I replied.

Will ran his hand up and down my arm. "What do I have to do to prove that to you?"

I raised a shoulder—the one he was stroking. "I don't know. But I'll know when I trust you, and I'll tell you then."

* * *

**Sooooo how was it?! I know this chapter was kind of redundant, but I wanted them to have some privacy so that they could kind of build on their relationship before you guys know about what happened to Tessa!**

**Please R&R! :) All comments accepted and appreciated!**

**Songs that inspired this chapter:**

**Give Me Love****—****Ed Sheeran (not sure why****—****just everything about this song I am in love with. I have listened to this song on repeat a majority of the time I wrote this chapter.)**

**Collide****—****Howie Day (just because they slept together****—****and I know this song will inspire other scenes and other chapters where they wake up together.)**

**I****'****ll Be****—****Edwin McCain (because Will is so sweet in this chapter****…****)**

**Fix You****—****Coldplay (this song will for sure spark other chapter, but the part where they sing about tears helped with Tessa crying.)**

**Anyway! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and hopefully I****'****ll have the next one up and ready to read soon! Remember to review please!**

**Xoxo!**

**~Caitlyn**


	5. Study Buddies

**Hello everyone! How did you like chapter 4? I'm back with chapter 5!**

**Malika DaughterOfWisdom: Here's the update you asked for!**

**Morning and Eve: Yes, I made Jem that way on purpose! And one of these chapters you'll see why he's like that! You did help motivate me because your (as well as everyone else's—well, almost) positive feedback helps a lot. About the songs… I swear I don't JUST listen to depressing, slow music like that! It's just that that kind of music puts me in the mood for sweet Will. You'll find out soon enough what happened to them!**

**MarijaV: Yes, I did reply! I'm trying to get to everyone! And I will definitely try and make the chapters longer, even if that means… *gasp* a longer wait.**

**bow down to me peasants: Funny you mention that fly. I had one flying around my room THE ENTIRE TIME I WROTE THAT CHAPTER! BTW, I'm glad you like the mystery going on with them. I hope I don't drag it out too long and make it boring for you guys. I will, however, start dropping more hints, and, well, Will will find his own way around Tessa's trust… maybe within the next few chapters.**

**combatbootchic12: Aw I'm so glad you like sweet Will better! I wasn't sure how the readers would like it, but I'm glad it's going well! That makes me feel much more confident in this story.**

**Guess (Guest): Thank you! More to come!**

**The Pale Red Queen: Thank you so much for taking the time to finally review this! It means so much to me! I'm really glad you like it and think it's coming along really well! I'm really enjoying writing this story. Btw, you'll find out about Tessa soon!**

**Willitbe: I certainly think they're bonding is unique, but it will start to get more rocky as the relationship continues building. Don't worry… it'll all work out in the end. :P**

**Disclaimer! I only own the plot. Characters to Cassandra Clare.**

* * *

Chapter 5~ Study Buddies

TESSA'S POV

It had been nearly two weeks since I had slept with Will in my dorm room. Since then, he had been calling me every day to check in on me.

I always told him yes, I was fine, even though it wasn't always completely true.

But I hadn't seen him—he had football practice every night and I had a lot of schoolwork to get done.

And I had lately taken up kickboxing at my gym.

In those two weeks, I had smoothed things over with Jem and restored our friendship back to its normal ways.

Also in those two weeks, Sophie and Gideon had started dating, and they spent every night "studying" together. Whatever that meant between the two of then, I didn't know.

I had a unit test in English Literature the following week and needed a place to study. The library was hosting some event for the prestigious donors to LI—the Shadowhunters, as they call them, so it wasn't an option to go there. Sophie and Gideon were in my dorm room, so I had to call in my last resort.

Well, I didn't actually call my last resort.

I just got in my car and drove in the direction I remembered from two weeks ago.

I pulled into the driveway of Will's cabin and paused.

Was I sure this was okay for me to do?

_Yes_, I told myself. _It's okay to move on from what happened._

As I was grabbing my school bag from the passenger seat of my '03 silver Honda Civic, I froze. A flashback came.

_Sophie and I were forced in front of mirrors—a whole wall of them hidden behind bookshelves. The bald-headed, blue-eyed man gripped me firmly by the shoulders, keeping me in place. It hurt. Every part of me hurt, and not in a good way._

_I swallowed, averting my gaze away from my reflection as his voice whispered in my ear._

I shuddered and desperately tried to force it out of my head. This part was always the worst part. It always gave me nightmares.

"_Do you see these marks I've made on you? That's so you think of me whenever you look in the mirror. I've made you a beautiful princess—a woman. And you don't even realize how much I've done for you…"_

I slammed myself back into the seat of my car. _Make it stop! _I thought.

_My eyes finally shifted to the mirrors. What was this crazy man talking about?_

_As soon as I caught a glimpse of my reflection, I knew what he meant._

_There was dried blood between my thighs. I knew what it was from, and it scared me. It had really happened._

_He had really done that to me._

_I cried out, throwing my hands in front of my eyes so I couldn't see any more._

_His hands wrapped around my wrists and forcefully pushed them to my sides._

"_No, you're not seeing the marks I made on you. Ignore the blood. Do you see them now?"_

_I didn't want to see them, but I did. I didn't want him to give the satisfaction of knowing I saw them._

_But I, unfortunately, had already given him too much satisfaction—satisfaction I hadn't wanted to give him._

And then the image disappeared, and I could breathe again. I opened my eyes, blinking away the tears.

No, I wouldn't let that define me. I was okay.

I climbed out of my car, slinging my bag over my shoulder. I locked my car and strolled to the front door, knocking casually.

The door swung open after a few seconds, revealing an angry Will.

His face was flushed, making his blue eyes stand out against his pale pallor. His black hair was disheveled, like he had been running his hands through it repeatedly. As soon as he saw me, his angry vanished and he stared at me with a small smile.

"Tess," he whispered before stepping aside. I looked him up and down. He was wearing a tight-fitting white long-sleeved shirt. I could see his corded muscled through the fabric, and swallowed, ignoring the throbbing _down there._

_Tess._

"Hi, Will!" I cried cheerily, stepping inside and throwing my arms around him gratefully. He accepted the hug and held me tightly.

I broke away from the embrace, smiling at him. "I'm sorry to bother you, Will. It's just that Sophie and Gideon are in my dorm room doing who knows what, and the library is closed for those Shadowhunter people. I need a place to study, so I figured I could come here if you don't mind…" my voice trailed off when I saw the look he was giving me.

Like I was the only thing he was worried about.

There was an odd kind of light shining in them, something I'd never seen before.

Something like… awe, or fascination.

"Tessa, you could never bother me. Of course you can study here. If you could just give me a few minutes," he replied, his gaze flicking to something over my shoulder briefly.

I turned. It wasn't a some_thing_, it was a some_one_.

And that some_one_ was Jessamine.

And she was giving me a deadly glare so sharp it was like knives penetrating right through me.

"Oh!" I said in realization of why he appeared so flustered. "Oh. Yes, of course. I'm so sorry. If you want me to come back later—,"

"No, Tess, we were just finishing up," Will spat venomously. "You are more than welcome to wait upstairs if you'd like. Do you remember where it is, baby?"

His blue eyes met mine, and my face grew hotter by the second as the pet name settled in my head. I knew he was implying the party to piss Jessamine off, and it gave me an uncanny pleasure.

"Like I could forget," I teased, winking at him before brushing past him—purposefully grazing him—to climb the stairs.

I was reliving the moments between me and Will at the party when I closed his door behind me.

His bare skin brushing against mine, his lips on my lips…

"Tessa? Are you okay?" Will's voice asked from behind me. It broke me out of my reverie.

I turned and saw Will. "I'm fine! Are _you_ okay?" I stepped toward him, looping my arms around his neck.

He grinned at me. "I am now." He rested his forehead against mine, closing his eyes.

I sighed contentedly. I was happy when I was around Will. I knew I could easily develop feelings for him if I let myself.

But could he do the same?

"Will?" I said before I could stop myself from asking.

"Hm?"

"Do you like me?" _Oh, shit. Wrong words._ "I mean, do you think you could like me?"

Will stiffened for a moment before relaxing again. "I think I could if I let myself," he replied.

I pulled away slightly so I could make eye contact with him. The usual blue was darker than I'd ever seen them. I frowned.

"What do you mean?" I wondered.

He shrugged. "It's a long story. I haven't let myself really feel that way about anyone in a long time. Since before I started university three years ago."

My eyes searched his face intently. His lips were full and slightly puckered. Could I let myself fall for someone like him? Or did he have a dark past too?

"Can I know what happened?" I said.

Will stepped out of our embrace, dropping his arms. He walked across the room and sat down on the bed. "I'd prefer we never talk about it. Ever." He dropped his head into his hands, his rough-silk curls tumbling over them, the black-and-white combination contrasting against each other.

I winced. He sounded like me.

"Can we make a deal?"

He raised his head and cocked an eyebrow at me. "How do we 'make a deal,' Tess?"

I raised a shoulder and plopped down next to him on the bed. "How about when I tell you what happened to me, you tell me your story?"

Will looked down at me in amusement, a smirk playing on his lips. "You have a solution to everything, don't you?"

I smiled at him. "I try my best."

He softly pressed his lips to mine. Too soon he pulled away, slinging his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into him.

"I missed you, Tessa. Things are different when I'm around you," he murmured, kissing the top of my head.

I craned my neck so I could see him better. "Different how?"

He chuckled. "It's not a bad kind of different. You're just… I don't know. You bring out the best in me."

"I think you do the same for me. You make it easier for me to put everything behind me. No one has been able to do that."

There was silence between us for a few moments, neither of us saying anything. It wasn't uncomfortable or awkward. It felt normal, and I knew we were both thinking the same thing.

That this could be the start of something.

"You calling me helps me, you know," I admitted, almost inaudibly. "It makes me feel like I have somewhere to turn."

"Yeah? I feel the same way about you, Tess. We may not know each other very well, but I know enough to say that you could change me if you really wanted to. I know we could help each other move on from our screwed up lives."

I smiled. There was nothing left to say about this topic, so we just sat there in comfortable silence, enjoying the presence of one another.

* * *

I was lying on Will's bed—fully dressed this time. I had my English notes spread out around me, and Will was helping me study for a test the following week.

"If Mr. Lightwood wants you to have all these quotes memorized then—," Will paused, frowning as he sorted through the papers containing quotes from several classical novels. His lower lip pouted slightly, making him utterly kissable.

"—then you should have no problem. You said you've read all these, right?"

I nodded, rolling onto my back and settling my head in his lap. "Yes, every single one of them. I love to read, and classics are my favorite."

"I couldn't agree with you more," he said.

My jaw dropped. I pushed his hands out of the way so I could see his face. He glanced down at me, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"_William Herondale_ likes to read?"

"Well, of course I do. Don't forget I enjoy the classics as well."

I smirked smugly to myself. "Well, what do you think about _A Tale of Two Cities_?"

Will feigned horror. "Oh, _that_ book? The one where men run around getting their heads chopped off for love? It's ridiculous." He shook his head in dismay.

I gasped. "How could you not like that book? It is my absolute _favorite_!"

He gaped at me. "You can't be serious, Tessa."

The way he said my name sent shivers through my body. The hard _t_, the lull of the double _s_, the breathy _a_. I felt like I was hearing my name for the first time.

And I absolutely loved it.

"I am dead serious, William," I said.

He made a tsking noise. "It must be an American thing."

I smacked his arm playfully. "That's not nice!"

Will laughed. It was certainly an infectious laughter, too, because I felt a giggle bubble up in my chest and spill out.

When we stopped, he looked down at me again. His blue eyes were alight and shining.

"Okay, Tess, it's quiz time!"

He began reading out quotes for me to guess.

"'The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid," he recited.

I pretended to think, but I knew the answer immediately. I adjusted the position of my head in his lap.

"Jane Austen!" I remarked triumphantly.

Will scowled. "That one was too easy." He glanced back at the papers he held in his hands. "'If he loved with all the powers of his puny being, he couldn't love as much in eighty years as I could in a day.'"

I grinned. "Emily Bronte's _Wuthering Heights_."

He groaned. "That one was also too easy. Okay, this one's going to be hard. 'All the girls in the world were divided into two classes: one class included all the girls in the world except her, and they had all the usual human feelings and were very ordinary girls; while the other class—herself alone—had no weaknesses and was superior to all humanity.'"

I grimaced. I knew it sounded familiar. So familiar, in fact, that it bothered me right away that I didn't know the answer.

"Um…" I started.

Will bursted out into laughter, throwing his head back.

The sight from where my head was was absolutely amazing.

I swallowed, trying to make myself focus.

And then it came to me.

"Oh! It's Leo Tolstoy's _Anna Karenina_!" I cried out.

Will shifted swiftly and smoothly so that, in a matter of seconds, he was on top of me, our bodies pressed together.

His eyelids were hooded and his blue eyes were dark and full of lust and... Something else. His warm breath tickled my cheek as he said, "That one wasn't on your study sheet, but I recited it because it reminded me of you."

My eyes widened and my face flushed. I wasn't embarrassed—no, I was flattered. No one had ever said anything as romantic as that. No one had ever shared the love of books with me the way Will was doing so in that moment. No one had ever quoted a book to me in the hopes that it would apply to reality.

"Do you mean that?" I whispered.

He nodded. "You're different, Tessa. And not in a bad way. You're a breath of fresh air. It's cliche, I know, but I can definitely act like myself around you and not have to worry about what you might say about me later on."

I twisted my fingers through his silky curls. "But you don't even know me."

"Maybe not ver

y well, but I know you well enough to know that you're different. You make me laugh, Tess. Not many people make me laugh the way you do. See how comfortable we are around each other? I'm not self-conscious about myself. I don't worry that you'll judge me."

"I feel the same way," I breathed without realizing that I'd said it. It was true, though.

"Good. I want to be with you, Tessa. And not just for sex. I want to take you out on a date and see what it's like between us. I know you're scared because of what happened a few months ago, and trust me, I'm scared too. But maybe that's what's drawing us together. Maybe we're supposed to be helping each other face our fears."

I searched his eyes for a few moments. I wasn't sure I was comfortable with how serious the conversation was, but I knew we needed to have it.

"William Herondale, are you asking me out?" I wondered, grinning like a sixteen year old school girl.

He smirked. "Tessa Gray, I believe I am. How about dinner, tonight at 7? After football practice."

* * *

**Hello! So how was chapter 5? It may not be as long as you'd like, but I had this really great idea and decided to get it down. Also, I have another HUGE reveal about Tessa's past—and soon Will's as well. Probably next chapter or the one after!**

**Next chapter will be mostly from Will's POV… Who missed his POV this chapter?**

**Please let me know what your thoughts are! :D**

**Playlist:**

**Safe And Sound—Capital Cities (I LOVE this song. Tessa says Will makes her feel safe and it stemmed from this)**

**With Love—Hilary Duff (I'm not really sure why—maybe it has something to do with them getting closer)**

**Feel So Close—Calvin Harris (That's obvious, right?)**

**So! Please R&R guys and thank you so much for your continued support! It means so much to me! **

**Xoxo!****  
****~Caitlyn**


	6. Dates & Surprises

**Sooo maybe chapter 5 wasn't all that great… lol but I needed a filler and some fluff before I gave you guys this long chapter! Also, I'm sorry if I offend anyone at all with any of the content of the story.**

**Sorry for taking so long to update! But here it is. :)**

**bow down to me peasants: I read a book, "The Coincidence of Callie and Kayden," and Callie made several references to flashbacks of a traumatizing moment in her life. That book inspired these flashbacks.**

**combatbootchic12: Sophie was a part of this experience, yes, and you'll see how and why and what happened!**

**Guest: I'm so glad you think it's cute! I wasn't sure if you guys would like how mushy it is.**

**M. MarvinN. Nancy: That is so awesome! I'm so glad it could make you smile! Well, here's the next chapter!**

**Morning and Eve: You'll see… but one of those ideas is correct. I figured if I made the story seem like what happened to Tessa was huge, then I better make it huge. Go big or go home right?**

**AmityClary2020: Amity… as in from Divergent?! As for what happened with Tessa, I promise you'll find out soon! And thank you so much!**

**Lauren (Guest): I like writing from his POV a lot because, well, I think it helps portray Tessa's character better and also because I love Will and would marry him if I could!**

**Guest: Thank you so much for your support! And maybe he will accept Tessa, maybe not. I guess you'll just have to wait and see! **

**Guest: I'm glad you adore this. **

**A/N: I don't own the characters, just the plot.**

**PS: As a forewarning, this chapter is a little choppy until Tessa's POV. I needed to get that date in there somehow. I apologize immensely for the awkwardness of it. Next chapter will be better!**

* * *

Chapter 6~Dates & Surprises

WILL'S POV

I arrived at Tessa's dorm promptly at seven o'clock. I was afraid she would think I was weird or desperate for being so punctual, but that thought dissipated as she ran out of dorm less than minute after I called her.

I could tell, even in the dim light of dusk and my headlights, that she was excited. Her grey eyes were noticeably bright and she wore a smile.

I jumped out of my truck to greet her.* I gripped her hips and pulled her in for a kiss. I could feel her smile against my lips.

She broke away, looking at me in the light of my headlights.

"Hi, Will," she said.

"Hi," I replied. I did a brief glance over of what she was wearing. She wore a long, cotton black dress and had her hair falling in loose curls down her back.

She was stunning.

"You look amazing," I whispered, pushing her hair behind her ears. I could feel her skin warm up beneath my fingers.

"Thank you," she breathed. She searched my eyes, then looked me up and down. "I must admit you look pretty handsome."

I scoffed. "_Pretty handsome_? Tess, _pretty_ is for women. Do you think I'm _pretty_?"

Tessa laughed. "Will, I think you're a lot of things, and _pretty_ isn't one of them."

I feigned offense. "If I'm not _pretty,_ then what am I?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're impossible, that's what you are." Upon seeing my dubious expression, she sighed.

"And completely and totally handsome and ravishing," she finished.

I smiled and placed my hand on her lower back, guiding her toward the passenger side of my truck.

"Why, thank you, Tess. That's rather sweet of you."

She gracefully climbed into my truck, tucking her dress beneath her.

* * *

Tessa and I sat in an Italian restaurant. We both had pasta. We were done eating now, but the whole night had been wonderful.

"So," I said as I leaned back against the booth. "I would like to introduce you to someone."

She laughed while giving me a strange look. "And who would that be?"

I shrugged. "You'll see. He was my Creative Writing teacher last year, and he just got back into town."

She tapped her chin. "Will, in Creative Writing? I find that hard to imagine."

"You'd be surprised how many talents I have." I wiggled my eyebrows at her.

Tessa covered her mouth with her hands, giggling. "I think I may have experienced a few of those already."

Warmth crept into my cheeks. Wait—_me, blushing_?

I grinned at her, hoping to distract her from the color in my face, but I could tell by how she tipped her head to the side that she noticed.

"Okay, so when do I get to meet him?"

I shrugged again. "Tomorrow, if you don't mind?"

"If it's with you, I never mind."

She beamed at me, and I couldn't help but feel the fluttering in my stomach.

What did girls call that?

Oh yes. Butterflies.

Why the hell did I have butterflies?

"So," Tessa started. "What are your plans for the rest of the night?" She leaned forward on the table, resting her elbows on them and placing her chin in her hands. Her grey eyes bore into mine.

"I didn't have any other plans than to hang out with you," I told her.

"Well, in that case, your room or mine?"

* * *

A ray of sunlight danced across my skin, warming me to the point of waking up. My eyes opened groggily, blinking sleep from them. I was about to sit up when a felt a warm body next to mine stir.

I turned my head. Tessa was sprawled across my bed, her long hair tumbling across the pillows. Her bare shoulders were peeking out from under the sheets, and her eyes met mine sleepily.

She gave me a tired smile. "Good morning," she mumbled.

I rolled over onto my side to face her. "Good morning, sleepy head."

As if instinctively, she raised her hand to touch her hair. "Does my hair look bad?"

I chuckled. "No. I don't think it ever could look bad."

She laughed, then sat up abruptly, wrapping the sheets around her. "What time are we meeting that guy?"

I groaned. I only wanted to stay in bed with her all day. I closed my eyes.

"I think at one this afternoon."

"_Will_! It's already eleven!"

I cracked one eye open. "So?"

Tessa scoffed, her jaw dropping. "_So_? I have to shower and get ready!"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, right. I forgot it takes women hours to get ready."

She leapt out of my bed. I heard her rustling through the clothes on the floor.

"You don't have to leave, Tess—,"

"Yes, I do. I gotta go. Call me when you're on your way to get me."

She crawled over the bed and planted a passionate, lingering, wet kiss on my lips. I moaned, attempting to wrap my arms around her now dressed body, but she pushed me away, laughing, and fled the room in a whirl of perfume and Tessa.

* * *

At twelve-thirty, I called Tessa to inform her I was at her dorm. She mumbled something about her hair not being finished. I just laughed, waiting for her in my truck.

I was too excited.

Not just about seeing her, but introducing her to my favorite professor.

I was so lost in thought, I didn't notice her come out of her dorm, walk all the way to my truck, and get in my truck until she said something.

"Will, are you okay?"

I shifted my gaze to hers, and her eyes pulled me from my thoughts. "Of course! I'm just excited to have you meet him."

Tessa smiled. "Me too."

She settled back into her seat and we drove away toward his house.

* * *

I pulled into the driveway of his house. It was a small, white cookie-cutter house with red shutters and a wraparound porch.

I opened Tessa's door, beaming. "Are you ready?"

"Will, you're excitement is making me nervous!" she cried, laughing.

"Don't be nervous! You'll like him," I reassured her.

We walked up the drive, stopping on the doorstep. I knocked, then checked my pockets for my phone.

It wasn't there.

I turned to Tessa. "Hey, babe, I forgot my phone in my truck. If he answers while I'm gone, just introduce yourself. He'll love you."

She nodded and kissed me.

I walked back down the drive, giving a shit-eating grin to no one in particular.

* * *

TESSA'S POV

Will knocked on the door, and then turned to me, frowning. "Hey, babe, I forgot my phone in my truck. If he answers while I'm gone, just introduce yourself. He'll love you."

I nodded and gave him a quick kiss. I watched him walk back down the drive, smiling to himself. I smiled at his back.

The door swung open, and I immediately focused my attention at the mystery man.

I gasped, face-to-face with an all-too familiar person with a shocked but malicious smile on his face.

"My, my Tessa. Who know four months could change someone so much?" he said.

My heart accelerated, my vision starting to go black at the edges from hyperventilating so suddenly.

My first thought was betrayal.

Will had betrayed me.

He had brought me head-on with my worst nightmare.

Literally.

My second thought was that he couldn't have had a single idea. He didn't know what happened to me, and he certainly wasn't capable of doing this on purpose.

I had no oxygen left in my brain. I was gripped the railing for support. I couldn't say anything. I was gasping for air. The black in my vision pushed me under completely, my legs buckling.

The last things I registered were a pair of warm, strong arms catching me, and a notorious figure in my life staring at me.

* * *

"I don't understand how she could have possibly passed out. She was fine before I left to get my phone," I heard Will hiss.

Him and _the other man_ were speaking in whispers. I was awake, though, listening to every word they exchanged.

Will really didn't know?

No one had told him?

He didn't see it all over the news?

"She could have been dehydrated."

"No, she has a water bottle in my truck. She was drinking it the whole way over here."

I opened my eyes, flicking my gaze to the foot of my bed. Will towered over the shorter man. Somehow they both sensed my movement and looked over at me.

"Tess," Will whispered. He rushed over to me. "Tess, by the Angel, are you alright? What happened?"

I glanced at my surroundings. We were in a room with mirrors on one side and bookshelves on the other.

_No no no no no. This is not happening._

_I've made you a beautiful princess—a woman._

No. No, he didn't make me either of those.

I fixed my eyes on Will's dark blue ones, concern etched in his face. _The man_ was far enough away he wouldn't hear me speak.

"Will, you need to get me out of here," I murmured.

His eyes widened. "But Tess, you haven't met him—,"

"Yes, I have. He was my English professor last year. You have to trust me. Get me out of here, and I promise I'll tell you everything."

Another flashback crashed into my mind, making my head swim. I had to close my eyes.

_Sophie and I had were at his house. There was alcohol. We were drinking, thinking it made us look more sophisticated, but we had had too much._

_My blood was drowning in alcohol, and words were tumbling out of my mouth before I could stop them._

_His hands were on me moments later, then his lips on Sophie's, and vice versa._

How did it all happen?

How could we have let it happen?

Damn it.

Why couldn't I remember?

"Theresa, I apologize for me not welcoming you into my home. It's a pleasure to see you again," _the man_ said to me.

I gulped, shifting my gaze to look at him. I inclined my head slightly and sat up, as I was lying on the floor.

"Mr. Mortmain," I grumbled.

"Tell me, Theresa, how is Nathaniel?"

My face burned with anger instantly. I gritted my teeth.

Who the _hell_ did he think he was, bringing up Nate? Everything I said that night was out of drunken thoughts.

Will looked at me and frowned.

Oh no. Mortmain better not get me in trouble.

"I wouldn't know, but thanks for asking," I snapped.

Mortmain scowled. He lifted his hand, which was holding a glass partially filled with amber liquid.

I knew that liquid.

I consumed it the night he…

Just the thought turned me murderous.

"Really, Theresa? As I recall, quite clearly might I add, you told me you were 'going to get to the bottom of things' to 'see if he was telling the truth'. Did you follow through with those plans?" he asked.

He was interrogating me in front of Will on purpose.

He wanted revenge for me putting him in jail.

So why was he out of prison?

"Wait, Tess, who's Nate? What is he talking about?" Will wondered, searching my face.

My jaw locked. Tears sprung to my eyes and all I could do is shake my head. I couldn't talk. I was on the verge of a breakdown.

And I didn't want Will to see me like that again.

_I was meeting Nate at a hotel to celebrate our two year anniversary. I was particularly nervous because I had decided to give him my virginity that night, but…_

_"Nate, I want to do it with you. I've decided. I want to do it tonight."_

_He shook his head, eyes filling with tears. "Stop it. Don't make it harder than it already is," he croaked._

_"What are you talking about?"_

_"Tessie, I'm—," he paused, taking a deep breath, "I'm gay."_

Slowly, as tears trailed down my face, the room I was in came back into view. Will's voice was pulling me from my trance.

"Tess, you don't have to tell me who he was, I'm just confu—,"

Focusing my gaze on where the mirrors met the carpet, I whispered, "He's my ex."

"Well then what is Mr. Mortmain talking about?" Will said. I looked up at the both of them.

"You mean she hasn't told you? Wow. I must say I'm surprised. How much do you really know about her, William?" Mortmain said with a chuckled.

Will narrowed his eyes at the professor. "I know enough about her."

Mortmain cocked an eyebrow. "Obviously you don't. You see, Will, if you knew who she _truly_ was, I doubt you'd be in this room with both her and I right now."

Will's eyes met mine.

"Remember what I said," I muttered so quietly I wondered if he heard me.

"Mr. Mortmain, I think we should be going. I'm sorry about how this went. Maybe we can try again another time?" Will said. He pulled me to my feet and steered me toward the front door.

Mortmain chuckled, following behind us. "Yes, maybe William. Maybe."

I threw a dirty glance over my shoulder one last time before the door slammed, hopefully separating my past and present for good.

* * *

"What the _fuck_ is going on, Tessa?" Will demanded as soon as we pulled away from Mortmain's house.

I stared out the window at all the houses passing by. I didn't say anything.

"Don't you dare give me the cold shoulder. I got you out of there, and you promised me you would tell me what happened. You can't go back on your word."

I focused my attention to looking at the road ahead of us. "I will tell you what happened."

A moment of silence passed between us; him waiting for me to tell him, me waiting for him to get all his frustration out.

"When, Tessa?"

"Will, I'm very tired right now, and emotionally drained. Can we please talk about this tomorrow? Let me sleep on this and sort out all my thoughts before I tell you everything. It's a long story."

"Can we talk about later today, then? You can take a nap at my cabin and when you wake up and feel better, can we talk about it?"

He was pleading at this point, his voice, his eyes softened. I had dragged this conversation out far too long, and it was time he knew.

Plus, that was as good a bargain as I was getting.

"Okay, Will."

* * *

We pulled into the driveway. Will had just opened my door before I bolted out of the truck.

I needed to see Jem.

I had to talk to him.

I ran to the front door and threw it open.

"Jem!" I called.

He appeared in the foyer seconds later, his brows knitted together. "Tessa? What's going on?"

Before he could say anything else, I launched myself into his arms, my walls crumpling instantly.

I took hard, shaking breaths through my mouth, gasping with every inhale. It was the kind of uncontrollable crying that contorts your face and wracks your body.

My body was shaking, and Jem was holding me, supporting me, keeping me on my feet.

That was the great thing about Jem.

He would always be my guardian.

The front door slammed shut.

Jem pushed me away, gripping my shoulders.

He was glaring at someone over my shoulder.

Will.

"_William Owen Herondale, what the hell did you do to her_?" He screamed.

I flinched. I had never heard or seen Jem scream before. But right now, his face and neck were bright red with anger.

With shuddering hands, I wiped away my tears and put my hands over his. "Jem, Will didn't do anything. It wasn't his fault. He didn't know."

Jem's angry silver glare shifted to me and he let go of me. "What the hell is going on?"

I pressed my back against the wall for support and looked over at Will.

He looked angry and confused and betrayed.

I looked at Jem.

He looked murderous and furious and bewildered.

I couldn't afford to lose them both.

I reached my hand out to Will. His stiff posture loosened slightly. He took my hand and we turned to face Jem together.

"Jem, I need you to stay calm this whole time," I told him. He nodded. "Mortmain is out of jail. Will took me to go see him—Jem put your hands down, you are not going to hit your best friend! Anyway, he's out of jail and Will wanted me to meet him but he had no idea what was going on. He has no idea what happened."

Jem's person deflated and he rubbed his temples. "Why haven't you told him, Tessa? I have told you over and over again that he is a trustworthy person."

I shrugged and bit my lip. "I know you have. I just couldn't bring myself to relive it more than I already have to."

Jem sighed and shook his head. "What I really want to know is why they let him out of prison after what he did."

I wanted to break down again, but I had to stay strong. I was just so tired…

"Tess, I think you need to lie down for a bit. We can talk about this later," Will told me. I nodded, and he scooped me up into his arms. He carried me up the stairs, and the gentle lull of the movement put me to sleep instantly.

* * *

**Okay okay okay, I know this chapter probably really sucked. But I'll probably go back and fix it later on and be more in depth. Buuuuuttt I wanted to post something, and I think this will suffice! So look out for the email on Chapter 6 in the future; I probably edited it and I apologize if you get them and you don't care. :P**

**Anyway, thoughts, please? Reviews! R&R! Good, bad, anything! I know this chapter isn't very long, but next chapter will be.**

**Playlist:**

**You're Not Sorry—Taylor Swift (Uhhh because this song inspired next chapter and, well, next chapter is inspired by this chapter! I also have a really huge scene later on already written out that stems from this song)**

**The Moment I Knew—Taylor Swift (This is kind of how I pictured the scene between Nate and Tessa, but you'll read more about that next chapter! I also know that this song will also be a visual of Will and Tessa in the future)**

**Sooo yeah that's it for now! I kind of wrote in quiet this time lol.**

**I'm sorry for the choppiness, any spelling/grammatical errors, and the wait!**

**As you can tell! I have big plans for chapter 7. :) Stay posted please! Don't forget to review!**

**XOXO**

**~Caitlyn :)**


	7. The Truth About Tessa

**Ahhh I know this chapter reveals a lot of anger and frustration… but that's because that's how I felt the entire time I was writing this…**

**So! Here's the responses.**

**Willa Lightdale: This review made my day! Thank you so much! And TBH, I probably won't make it Jessa. **

**combatbootchic12: Ah-ha! I was hoping to make some sort of blind side with that. :)**

**Morning and Eve: Yes, lots of Taylor Swift lol. But I was feeling like listening to her that day! But, it is what it is. :) and yes, Mortmain is that guy. You'll find out what happened in this chapter. I'm so glad you look forward to reading this story! I look forward to reading your reviews!**

**Thalia (Guest): Haha! I wasn't going to lecture you on "hugest" because, well, we ALL say stuff like that sometimes. ;p Also, I'm trying to make this story a little bit of everything. How am I doing with that?**

**Guest: You know, I've only met one other Caitlyn who spells it the same way I do! Well, other than you of course! And yes, this is a Wessa story, and "Jessa" are like brother/sister… Well, kind of. You'll see.**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

Chapter 7~The Truth About Tessa

WILL'S POV

Tessa was asleep in my arms before I reached the top of my stairs. I had no idea why she was so exhausted.

I smirked to myself.

Okay, maybe I have a slight idea considering everything that happened between us last night.

As for emotionally, I had no clue. I had no idea what was going on with her. I had no idea why she panicked at Mr. Mortmain's house.

And why the hell did he bring up her ex?

How did he even know about that?

And why would he dangle that in front of her?  
Why would he interrogate her like that?

The questions flooded my mind too quickly. I shook my head to try and clear my thoughts.

I sighed, gently setting Tessa on my bed. I pulled her shoes off her feet and tugged the blankets up to her shoulders.

I smiled at her, listening to her quiet breathing. My eyes flitted across her peaceful face, cherishing the view. She was seldom relaxed like this. She was always worried about her past and what happened—

I froze.

Her past.

Mortmain.

I pushed myself from my bed and sat at my desk. I opened my laptop and powered it on.

_It was all over the news…_

So it would be on the Internet. It had to be _somewhere_.

I opened Google. In the search bar I typed, "Tessa Gray London, England."

Seconds later, hundreds of links came up with titles like, "Axel Mortmain—Imprisoned by Gray and Collins" or "Theresa Gray and Sophia Collins—The REAL Story" or "Tragic Story of Gray and Collins".

I clicked on the first link. It led me to a news report, so I opened the drawer to my desk and put in my headphones to listen.

_"Two young girls going into their third year of college were missing for over 72 hours. The report was called in by their dorm mother Agatha when they didn't return home for two nights straight, and no one else had stepped forward saying they'd seen the girls. _

_"They were told to be last seen at a Poetry Out Loud in the Devil's Den College Bar. Several people said they saw both girls speaking with Axel Mortmain intently before leaving together. They apparently told someone they had to 'catch up on homework'. The real reason for the girls' departure remained unknown until recently, which will be revealed soon._

_"Theresa Gray and Sophia Collins, both twenty-one years old, left in Gray's car that day. Neither of them had consumed alcohol before leaving the cafe, but fellow peers had been drinking it around them. Their car was found on campus, but their bodies were missing for over three days._

_"More information when we come back. This is Lisa with the seven o'clock news._

There was a commercial and I could only stare at the screen in horror. What happened?

When the news came back on, it was a video of two figures walking, waving their hands in hysterics.

It didn't take me long to figure out that it was Tessa and Sophie.

A view from the front revealed smeared makeup, knotted hair, and bloodied hands. They were crying.

I flinched, wanting to look away from the computer, but I needed to know the truth.

The video faded and Lisa came back onto the screen.

_"That is the video recorded by a student's cell phone when the girls appeared on campus in hysterics. Surrounding students said they were 'mumbling like they were crazy'. We decided to ask the girls to answer a few questions for us. They accepted. Here they are, Theresa Gray and Sophia Collins with their story._

The screen changed to Tessa and Sophie sitting on chairs, their hair tamed and makeup done. Despite their strong fronts, I could tell by their stiff postures that they were not okay.

They started speaking.

_"When we spoke to Mr. Mortmain in the bar, we showed genuine interest in the books he was speaking to us about. When he invited us over to his house to lend us a few books, we didn't think much of it. We agreed," Sophie started._

_"Sophie and I hadn't drank any alcohol at the bar. We had just turned twenty-one, but we weren't there to drink. Mortmain had asked us to drop our car off on campus and that he would pick us up. We thought it was kind of odd, but we agreed. We had no idea what was to come," Tessa said._

_"He picked us up as planned, and we drove to his house. When we got there, he offered us a drink. Since we hadn't drove, we agreed with caution," Tessa continued._

_"We didn't plan on having very much; just a glass or two," Sophie stated. "But even now we're assuming he must have slipped something in our drinks, because we were both feeling its affects after one small glass. Anyway, he was showing us some novels he enjoyed reading, and started pulling them off the shelves in his office—," she choked._

_Tessa looked at Sophie with glassy eyes. "He kept asking us if we were okay, if we needed to lie down, because the alcohol made us feel very slow, very tired," Tessa said. "We asked to sit down, and that was when it started. He shoved Sophie against the book shelf."_

_"He kissed me. I didn't have much strength in me because of the alcohol going through me. I tried to push him away, the Angel knows I tried. But he was too strong. He started to touch me, and that was when Tessa stepped in," Sophie confessed._

_"I pushed him away from her. What else was I supposed to do for my best friend? I couldn't stand to watch that happen. But then he did the same thing to me. Kissed me, touched me."_

_"I tried my best to help her the way she helped me, but the alcohol was taking a stronger course through me. Mortmain dragged me out of the office and locked Tessa in there. He pulled me down his hallway and into his bedroom. That's where he—,"_

_"You don't have to say it, Soph," Tessa said softly. "They'll understand what he did."_

_Sophie swallowed, her eyes glassy when she raised her head. "That's when he raped me. I couldn't do anything because he tied my hands up. When he was done, he discarded me like a dirty towel, forcing me to my feet and pushing me back toward the office. While he tried to unlock the office door, I attempted to break free, even though my hands were still tied. _

_"I ran for the kitchen, hoping to get a knife or something. Mortmain beat me to one, wrapping his arm around my neck and holding it to my cheek. He whispered, 'Don't run, you'll only make it worse.' I kept struggling against him, telling him he didn't own me and that I didn't belong to anyone. So he cut my cheek with the knife and said, 'If I can't have you, then no one can'. He pushed me into the office and grabbed Tessa."_

_"I could hear everything from the office. I could hear Sophie's screams from down the hall. She screamed for me to come help, and I screamed back, telling her I couldn't escape. I could hear him drag her down the hallway again. I could hear the struggle they were having in the kitchen, and her telling him she didn't belong to him. It scared me. But then he came and got me, and I saw Sophie. Naked, bloody, crying Sophie. And I could only think that it was my fault that we were here._

_"He took me to the bedroom and did the same thing to me as he did to her. It was so painful, and I was terrified. But then he pushed both of us in front of mirrors in the office once he was done with us both. He made us look at ourselves. He called us shameful whores. He told us he'd made us beautiful women, and that he'd left marks on us forever," Tessa said quietly._

The screen went back to Lisa.

_"Wow, what a tragic story. Those two young ladies have been through so much, and they are so strong. What an inspiring story…"_

I sat back in my chair, my jaw hanging opening, pushing my hands through my hair.

How could I not have known about any of this?

Why didn't she tell me?

By the Angel, she was raped.

By a _teacher_.

And _I_ took her to see _that_ teacher.

_I_ had sex with her.

Several times.

What had I done?

How did she consider that "helping"?

God, Tessa.

Anger flared through me. Anger and hatred burned toward Mortmain for what he'd done, for how he'd traumatized her, for thinking it was _okay_ to do that.

Anger at myself for sleeping with her even though Jem warned me not to.

Anger at Tessa for keeping this from me and letting me sleep with her even though it bothered her and scared her.

Anger at Jem for refusing to tell me even though he was my best friend, my _parabatai_, as we called it.

Even if she did enjoy it.

I closed my laptop and shoved myself up form my desk, angrily pacing out of my bedroom. I closed the door behind me and ran down the stairs.

"James Carstairs!" I yelled.

"Yes, Will?" he asked exasperatedly. He was curled up in a chair in the living room reading a book.

"Why didn't you _tell_ me what happened to her?" I demanded.

Jem raised his fine eyebrows and looked at me over his book. "She told you? I thought she went to bed?"

"She did," I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest. "I looked it up online."

He hesitated. "Will, I wanted her to—,"

"Yeah, yeah, so that she could learn to trust me."

"Which I don't know how much she will after you took her to his house."

"I didn't know! That could have been avoided if you had _just told me_!"

Jem sighed. "You're right, Will. But I didn't because I know Tessa needs someone she can learn to trust. You should actually be _thanking_ me for pushing her toward you."

I gaped at him. "You can't be serious, Jem. All of Tessa's trust that she's given to me so far, I have earned."

He sneered at me, standing up. He set the book on the arm of the chair. "Really, Will? Is that what you're choosing to believe?"

I scowled. "_Choosing to believe_? No, Jem, I'm choosing what I _know_."

"You're so incompetent, William," Jem scoffed.

"James, you're supposed to be my _best friend._ My _parabatai_, remember?"

Jem froze. He sat back down, putting his head into his hands. "I know. I'm sorry, Will. It's just that…" His voice trailed off.

"It's just that what, Jem?" I wondered, sitting across from him.

He looked at me through his fingers before dropping his hands. "I'm in love with her, Will. I knew she needed me as a _friend_ and _only_ as a friend. I didn't want to push her into anything. I wanted her to be comfortable. I figured if she felt the same way about me, then it would happen. But then I saw how she was around you… and I knew it was you she needed, whether either of you knew it or not."

I blanched. My jaw dropped.

_Jem_ was in _love_ with someone?

How could that be possible?

Those thoughts quickly receded when I heard light footsteps on the stairs.

"What's going on?" A tired, tinkling voice asked from behind me.

* * *

TESSA'S POV

Intense whispers sounded up the stairs. I wasn't sure if it was the voices that woke me or the nightmare of reliving what Mortmain did to me.

All I knew is that I jolted awake and heard quiet arguing downstairs.

I crawled out of Will's bed, catching my reflection in the mirror. My cheeks were flushed from sleep, my hair tousled, my clothes twisted. I straightened my shirt and left the room, softly padding down the hall and down the stairs.

I could hear a conversation between Jem and Will.

"—then I saw how she was around you… and I knew it was you she needed, whether either of you knew it or not," Jem was saying.

I walked around the corner and into the living room. In a still-sleepy voice I asked, "What's going on?"

I could see the back of Will's head and the side of Jem.

Will snapped his head around, his face extremely pale, eyes wide as the moon with panic. Jem looked at me sadly, longing evident in his gaze. What _was_ going on?

Jem said, "Nothing, Tessa," at the same time Will asked, "Tess, can I speak with you?"

I looked back and forth between the two of them. They were obviously hiding something.

"Sure," I replied slowly, stepping toward them.

Will shook his head and stood up. "Alone."

I glanced at Jem. He just gave me a small, fake smile and shrugged. I sighed and nodded, allowing Will to guide me back up the stairs.

When we got to his room, he shut the door, turning to face me at a tedious pace.

He was still pale, but his eyes showed conflicting emotions.

"Will, what's—," I started.

"Going on? I don't know, you tell me," he snapped, crossing his arms across his chest.

I sighed again, my shoulders drooping. I knew this was going to come eventually.

"With Mortmain? It's quite a long story, so prepare yourself for—,"

"No, Tess, I already know what happened."

"Oh," I said quietly. Anger suddenly filled me and throated to boil over until—

Nope, it's going over. I clenched my fists and ground my teeth together.

"Of course _fucking Jem_ would tell you! Of _course_ he would! That's _typical_ Jem! You know people pity me for what happened? I _hate _being pitied! They see me as that poor little girl who got raped by a professor. Fuck them, fuck them all. I'm stronger than that. And as for Jem? Every guy who has even _looked_ at me, he tells them I'm _that_ girl. No I'm fucking not! I am not who people see I am and it's not fair because people hardly come _near_ me for it—,"

"Tess, I didn't mean to make you angry," Will said softly, his violet eyes wide with shock. He looked as though he wanted to touch me, but was afraid to.

His voice made all my anger disappear. No, I wasn't angry. I wasn't angry with Jem at all. In fact, I was more upset that I hadn't trusted Will enough to tell him, when I should have. I was upset that I let it destroy me for so long.

My knees buckled, but he caught me, hauling me to his feet and pulling me into his chest. He held me tightly as tears poured down my cheeks, as the pain threatened to tear me apart at the seams completely.

Will stroked my hair, whispering sweet things into my hair like "It'll be okay," and "You're so beautiful, Tessa, and you're all mine," and "I'm here for you."

Finally, the tears started to subside, and I was left with gentle hiccups, clutching Will so tightly to me there was no space between us.

"I just want to know why you didn't tell me," he said.

I tipped my head back to look at him and hiccuped. He was already looked at me with admiration.

"I was scared to. I didn't want to scare you off. I didn't want you to see me as weak."

He smiled, brushing my hair from my face as I hiccuped again. "I don't think I could ever view someone as fierce as you as someone who is weak because they had a rough patch in life."

The hiccups stopped, and I focused my eyes on his. "Really?" I breathed.

"Tess, it's you. How could I possibly think otherwise?"

His words made me shiver, made me feel warm with something I couldn't identify. I wondered if I made him feel this way, like being near him is a necessity. Like going into the light for the first time and realizing you can't go back to living in complete darkness

"I don't know, you tell me," I murmured, deeply searching his eyes for any emotion that may have matched mine.

His were deep blue, gleaming with adoration and something else I also was unable to put my finger on.

Will smirked, then grabbed my shin and crushed his lips to mine. At first, I was astonished he'd made that move. Other men I had been with would hardly touch me once they found out what happened. And then they would stop talking to me.

But not Will.

Will was different. This didn't change how he viewed me.

I silently thanked the Angel as I kissed him back.

"Wait, Tessa," he said against my lips, breaking away from me. "Are you sure this is how you want to handle things?"

I swallowed and looked away from him.

Here it comes.

The humiliation.

Maybe I was wrong after all.

"I don't see why not," I responded.

"I'm not trying to pity you, Tessa, I'm trying to understand you. But how am I supposed to understand you if you don't talk to me?"

I looked at him again. "You want to understand me? There's not a whole lot to understand, Will."

"I want to understand why you deal with what happened to you by sleeping with other people," he said.

I flinched at _other people_.

"I thought that it would help me forget, Will. And sometimes it does. It never did with the _few others_ I was with, but with you, it helps me. It numbs my pain. I enjoy it, and I can let myself go. I haven't been able to do that with anyone else. It's just you, Will. And maybe you're right. Maybe we are both supposed to help each other get past our fears," I explained.

The smile he gave me was priceless, so full of happiness that I couldn't describe it.

He kissed me again, this time softly, filled with desperation and urgency and needing that nothing else mattered, nothing else in the world could break this moment.

And that is when I let myself fall, very slowly, off the cliff. And at the bottom was Will waiting with three simple words.

Three simple words that were to be said at the perfect time.

* * *

JEM'S POV

I stared at Will's back as he walked Tessa up the stairs.

I really shouldn't be so upset with him for taking Tessa; no, I wasn't upset with Will, but jealous of Tessa.

Because she had someone to look at her that way.

But growing inside me, heavily, was the guilt of knowing I lied to Will about loving Tessa.

That wasn't the lie; I _did_ love Tessa. But I wasn't _in_ love with her.

I sighed, wondering if he believed me. He couldn't possible know the truth, could he?

He wouldn't be my _parabatai_ anymore if I was… would he?

* * *

**Hi guys! Sorry if the update was long, but was the chapter of satisfying length or did you guys want longer?**

**I'm thinking of putting quotes at the beginning of every chapter?**

**Also, what do you guys think Jem's POV was about? Let me know in your review please! And, of course, you guys can ALWAYS give suggestions to things you want to read about.**

**Did you guys enjoy the chapter? PLEASE R&R!**

**I am also crediting Issi Herondale for telling me about the Fandom United Nations—a forum for authors and readers around the world! Copy and paste this link if you're interested: **

_ forum/Fanfiction-United-Nations/144789/_

**Playlist: **

**You're Mine-Lea Michele (This song is super cute-I had to)**

**I Want You-Savage Garden (This song is cute too, and I never listened to the lyrics until it came on on iTunes Radio)**

**Until next time :)**

**Xoxo!  
~Caitlyn**


	8. The Truth About Will

**Hola! Soooooo I got a lot of positive responses from chapter 7! That makes me so happy! :) Should Jem be gay? Or Jem/Sophie? Jem/Jessamine?**

**WARNING! This chapter is more sexual and detailed than previous ones BECAUSE this is what happened to Will!**

**bow down to me peasants: I wasn't sure how anyone would respond to Jem, but I'm glad you liked it. Oh, and of course, everything with Will and Tessa is good, yes?**

**Guest: I love your summed up version of your review! Although the long one is just as good! :) **

**1-Mortmain has always been a bastard. :P**

**2-Yes, Sophie was kind of implied earlier in the story but I didn't elaborate on it too much and I didn't make it a huge detail, which I probably should have. But that's okay… I mean SURPRISE!**

**3-I'm thinking Jem may be gay…. Is that something you want? Or like Jem/Sophie, Jem/Jessamine?**

**4-There will def be more in Jem's POV.**

**Jacaranda Penn (Guest): I'm not sure if I'm going to make Jem sick or not… But he was definitely born with silver hair and silver eyes disease due to a genetic mutation, but it was nothing serious.**

**combatbootchic12: You will find out Jem's secret soon! :) But as with Will and Tessa, you must wait for the secret to come out on its own!**

**Morning and Eve: You were right! Yes, you've been right about a few things so far… :P AWW WILL!**

**Talk-books-to-me: I'm so glad you enjoy it that much! Reviews like yours make me extremely happy, so I'm happy you reviewed! :) I hope the rest of the story is up to your expectations! :)**

**liveloveread485: You will find out about Jem soon enough. Ha. :) Part of the suspense!**

**Pinkcarstairs (Guest): I will be writing more FanFics after this one. I'm working on two others if you're interested. For TID I have another called "Nightmares, Love, & War" and, if you've read Divergent, I have one called "Escaping Judgment." I hope you continue to enjoy this! :)**

**Anyways! Enjoy chapter 8! :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I ONLY OWN THE PLOT!**

Chapter 8~The Truth About Will

TESSA'S POV

Will and I were lying in the aftermath of our romantic moment. We were in his bed, me flat on top of him, him brushing my hair down my back with his fingers. I could feel his callouses tickle my skin.

"You have such soft skin, Tess," he murmured, a smile clear in his voice when he kissed my temple.

I turned my head and looked at him sleepily. I let out a giggle. "Is that a good thing?"

He grinned at me, his eyes lighter than I'd ever seen them. "It's a great thing."

I closed my eyes, suddenly exhausted.

"I'm going to take a quick shower, okay? Will you be okay here without me?" he wondered.

I cracked my eyes open again and rolled off him. "I suppose so."

Will laughed. "You suppose? Well, I wouldn't want to disappoint you, Miss Gray."

I sat up and laughed. "You have! Now where is my source of warmth?"

He looked at me, his eyes bright. "Maybe if you put some clothes on—,"

"Mr. Herondale!" I cried, feigning horror. "Are you implying that you don't enjoy this glorious sight?"  
He chuckled, then tackled me on the bed so I was pinned under him. "Miss Gray, it seems as though you're being a naughty girl," he growled.

I looped my arms around his neck. "What are you going to do about it?"

He pondered this for a moment. "Hmm, well… I have a few ideas. I doubt you'd be interested though." He winked at me and started to crawl off me, but not before I could feel_ him_ pressed into my body.

I propped myself up on my elbows, my hair skimming my back. "Are you sure you don't want Round Two?"

"Don't tempt me, Miss Gray," he said, leaning in to plant a passionate kiss on my lips. He grabbed the hair at the nape of my neck and pulled me closer. The touch made me flutter inside.

I groaned. "I think I'm tempting _myself_."

He laughed and broke our intimate embrace and started to get off the bed again.

"Wait," I said. "Tell me what your ideas are."  
Will hesitated. His hair was sticking out everywhere in random curls. "Tess, I don't think that's—,"

"I'm willing to keep an open mind," I protested quickly.

He sighed. "I don't think this is the kind of thing to have a complete open mind to."

"Fine, then I'll only keep a partially open mind."

"Oh, Tess," he mumbled caressing my cheek and getting up. I watched him walk to his bathroom, rather enjoying the view from behind that I received.

I shivered. I hadn't realized how cold I was without Will beside me. Perhaps he was right… more clothes.

I practically leapt off the bed and bounded to his closet. I threw open the door, thrusting my hand in and pulling a soft shirt off a hanger. The hangar swung back and forth on the shelf. I looked at the fabric in my hand. It was a Fall Out Boy long sleeve concert shirt, made with soft cotton. I grinned.

I pulled it over my head. As I did so, my hand hit the top of a shelf. I adjusted the shirt on me. It reached mid-thigh.

Something hard fell off the shelf and hit my head and clattered to the floor.

"Ow," I muttered to myself, rubbing my head. I searched the floor, but it didn't take me long to spot the object that hit me.

It was a black whip, with soft tassels on it. What the hell were those things called?  
And why the hell did Will have one?

And why the hell did he have one in _his closet_?

"Um…" I said to myself, turning the whip over in my hand. I looked up at the shelf it fell off of. There was a box sitting there, but it was nearly falling off the shelf. The only thing preventing it from falling was the wall. The box was wedged between the shelf and the wall.

I reached up, standing on my tiptoes to reach it. My hand closed around the edge of the box, and I pulled it down toward me. Once it was free of its spot on the shelf, I realized how heavy it was and barely caught it with both arms. I set it down gently on the floor, panting.

Nervous, I opened the box and immediately wished I hadn't.

Inside were several contraptions, toy-like objects. I knew what they were for, I just didn't know what they _were_.

My stomach roiled as I tentatively rummaged through the contents of the sex-toys. Small whips, clamps of sorts, strange braided, leather whip things, handcuffs, blindfolds…

The shower turned off, but I couldn't find the strength in myself to hide what I'd been doing, to hide what I'd seen.

Instead, I just sat back on my heels and grimaced into the box.

Is this what he had in my mind when he spoke of "his ideas"?

Oh God, what was I supposed to _do_?

What would make him buy these things?

Why did he even _have_ them?

"Hey, Tessa baby? I was thinking—," Will started to say as he walked out of the bathroom before his words were immediately cut off.

I raised my head to look at him. I could see anger flash through his eyes as his gaze shifted between the box and me.

I was so scared at this point that I couldn't focus on the fact that his hair was dripping water onto his shoulders, which rolled down his toned abs, or the fact that he was only wearing a towel around his waist.

"Tessa, I can explain," he said when he finally met my gaze.

"Then please do, because I'm not liking the thoughts going through my head right now," I said.

He sighed and walked over to me. He bent down and grabbed the whip out of hand. He looked at it briefly before tossing it in the box, picking up the box, and returning it to its rightful place on the shelf. He closed the closet, then extended a hand to pull me up.

I looked at it uncertainly.

Will rolled his eyes. "Tessa, that's part of my past. It's not who I am anymore."

"_Anymore_? That doesn't really reassure me, Will." I grabbed his hand anyway and let him pull me to my feet.

He guided me over to his bed, pressing down on my shoulders to make me sit down. He didn't speak as he went to his dresser and changed into boxers and a t-shirt.

"Will," I said. "I know you're trying to avoid this conversation."

"Yes, I'm trying to avoid it because I'm afraid. Okay? There, I said it. I'm afraid," he responded, not turning around. He placed one hand on the dresser and hung his head.

I stood up and went over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. "As much as it scares me to know, I know this is the position I put you in. But now you know my secret, it's time for me to know yours."

Will closed his hands over mine. "I'm scared that you won't want me anymore," he admitted. He turned around, wrapping his arms around me. "Because I-I like you, Tess. Probably more than I should."

I tilted my head back to look at him. I ran my hands up and down the tense muscles in his back. "What do you mean by that?"

"It means that you make me… it means you make me feel things I haven't felt ever before."

"If it makes you feel any better, I really like you, too, Will."

He exhaled sharply. I let him lead me once again to his bed, where we both sat criss-cross across from each other.

Will shook his head. "I don't even know where to start, Tessa."

I grasped his hand for reassurance. "Why don't you start from the beginning?"

WILL'S POV

I closed my eyes, unsure if I could bare looking at Tessa as I told her what my previous sex life had been like.

I opened my mouth, and the words started tumbling out like word vomit. As I told the story, it blurred into a vivid flashback of the night I put an end to it.

_I was running through the torrential downpour, through neighbor's yards, hopping over fences. Mrs. Belcourt's house was within view at this point. I was getting nervous as I approached her house. I wondered if her husband was home. I really hoped not because he scared me._

_I was eighteen years old then, old enough to make my own decisions. I had been able to for the past few years, I just never had the courage. _

_I was leaving for my first year of college that summer and I had to leave that shit behind me. All of it was so twisted, so fucked up…_

_My mother would be devastated if she knew what had been going on. Oh, my poor mother. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat at the thought of the reaction my mother would have if she only knew that, for years, Mrs. Belcourt threatened and manipulated me into being her slave… into being a masochist while she enjoyed her sadistic games. I didn't like her scary, bizarre sex toys. I never did, but I had grown to tolerate them. Almost to the point of needing them…_

_Suddenly I was in her backyard. I looked into her sliding glass back doors as light poured through the glass and covered my soaking wet body. How would she react when I tell her that this had to end?_

_I knocked on the glass doors, rain coating my eyelids and dripping off my eyelashes._

_What seemed like an eternity later, Mrs. Belcourt opened the door. A sickening smile spread across her face._

_"William," she cooed. "I was hoping you would come around soon."_

_I shook my head. "This is for a different reason, Camille," I told her, mortified that I had just referred to her by her first name._

_Anger flashed across her face, but only briefly. Almost like the look never existed on the pretty features of her face… She stepped aside. "Come in, William. Tell me what's on your mind."_

_I hesitated before nodding and stepping inside. Her house was warm; some much needed warmth to the cold seeping into my bones. "So, Camille, I came to speak to you for very important reasons."_

_As I glanced up through my eyelashes, I caught her flexing her hand above her head. I flinched away from her; her slaps hurt so badly… by the Angel they hurt so bad… sometimes they left marks for days…_

_Mrs. Belcourt lowered her hand and chuckled. "Oh, William, you would think after five years of my teachings that you would finally learn a lesson. Actually, you've done so well. You've _almost always_ obeyed me," she said._

_I silently released the breath I didn't know I was holding. "Actually, that's what I wanted to talk about," I admitted._

_She frowned, and then a devious grin broke out across her face as she took a seat at her table. "So you've finally decided you like the punishing? It's not so bad anymore? Would you like some without having to fuck up?"_

_The thought of her punishing me for no reason whatsoever tied knots in my stomach. I shook my head and avoided eye contact, as I was taught to. By the Angel, what had she done to me? I was ending right there, right then… so I should have been able to make eye contact, but for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to._

_"No… Camille… I came here to tell you that I got accepted to the London Institute with an impressive scholarship."_

_Her smile wavered for a fraction of a second. "Well, William, that's excellent. All your hard work finally paid off. But why are you telling me this? I thought we had already discussed the university thing," she said as she gets up when a tea kettle goes off. She pours two cups and brings one to me, the other one for herself. "We've decided you're staying here in Wales, remember?"_

_I drew in a deep breath. "No, that's what _you_ decided. I've decided to go there next year. I leave in three weeks. I have already accepted my enrollment."_

_Mrs. Belcourt's eyes flashed in anger and she slammed her cup down on the table. "What?!" she screamed and I cringed. "William Owen Herondale!" Her voice was reaching a level I had never heard from her before._

_"Camille, I'm sorry. I just think that this relationship is extremely inappropriate between us, and it needs to stop. I can't continue to be surrounded by this. I can't continue to live in fear because of you. I hate the pain you inflict on me. I only tolerated it because I thought it was for the best, but I see now how unhealthy it actually is. You've ruined me. Don't you see that?" I said to her before I could lose my courage._

_She shoved her seat back and stood up, looming over me. "How the hell could you do this to me? Why the fuck would you do this? How could you possibly say those things? We've had such a wonderful relationship all of these years!" she protested._

_I shook my head as my hands started to shake with terror. "No… Camille, it's been wonderful for you. It's been really shitty for me. I can't keep living in total and complete fear. It's just too unhealthy and it's not a good influence," I said, surprised that I sounded so strong and sure of myself, and the fact that I repeatedly used her first name. "You exposed me to terrible things at such a young age. I've been terrified my whole teenage life. I was corrupted way before I even grew up. I need to find myself, Camille. I need to fall in love with a girl who gives me everything I need, not continuing to sneak around this way to let someone beat me for 'fun.'"_

_Mrs. Belcourt let out wicked, evil cackle. "Oh, Will. Don't you realize that what I've done will give you needs no one else can satisfy? Don't you understand? I've made it so that no one else can have you. No one else can ever compare to me. I've made it so I'm the only one you need. Do you see how convenient this is?" She curled her fingers around the collar of my shirt and pulled me to my feet. She kissed me long and hard, but it didn't mean anything. I didn't even get hard like I used to…_

_There was a point in my life where my best friend, Thomas, had the hottest mom I'd ever seen. She always had such perfect blonde, curly hair and sparkling green eyes that always looked at me with pure lust. She had a rocking body, nice boobs and a nice ass.* But after what I'd been exposed to… she wasn't attractive anymore._

_I remembered the times she would wear black wigs… when she would whip me and play Dominatrix.** Oh, how I always hated that game…_

_I shoved Mrs. Belcourt, Camille, away from me. "Stop, Camille. I mean it. I'm a grown man now. I'm not some naive teenager you can manipulate anymore. In fact, I think you need to give your husband the attention he's lacked the past five years. After all, you must have married him because you love him, right?"_

_Camille looked at me with wide eyes. "I do love him, but I love you also," she whispered._

_I shook my head. "This ends now, Camille. After this, I hope I never see you again._

_Her face turned red and she pushed me backward. I hit the counter behind me, feeling a sharp pain shoot through my back. "You _fucking bastard_! Get the _fuck_ out of my house, you goddamn asshole! _I fucking told you I love you_! This is how you repay me for all I've given you?"_

_I sighed and turned to the back door. She grabbed me and hit me over and over again. But, as I had been taught all those years ago, I sat there and took it, even though I knew where this was headed. I knew I was going to bruise, to swell up from the pain she was inflicting on me, but I had no strength left inside me to fight back. I looked down at the ground, avoiding eye contact once again as she beat me again and again. Soon enough, my vision went blurry with tears I hadn't let out for five years. I saw spots of red where I was bleeding on her linoleum, but she didn't care. She just kept hitting me. It was the worst beating I had received so far._

_Suddenly my knees went out from underneath me. I realize she had been kicking my shins. I curled up in a ball on her floor as she continued to scream things at me, how worthless I was, how much she hated me, how much I had tortured her for all these years… how it was all my faults she was the way she was and it was all my fault the relationship we had._

_It was always my fault._

_I wished I could go back and change it all._

_Before I knew it, we were upstairs in her bed, having sex. Except that time she let me be in complete control. But I already had an idea. After we both had finished, I watched her as she laid there and smiled at me._

_"Oh, Will, that was so nice. Perhaps I should let you be in charge more often. I liked you telling me what to do," she told me._

_I shook my head and climbed off her. I grabbed my clothes and quick led got dressed. She frowned at me. "I told you, Camille. It has to stop. That's all you get. Now you can reminisce back to that whenever you need something to get off to."_

_She looked heartbroken. With that, I turned and left her bedroom, leaving her tied to the bed as she called after me._

_As I was headed downstairs, I tried to sneak out the back door, but as I reached the bottom of the stairs, I ran into her husband, Mr. Santiago—she kept her maiden name—as he walked through the front door. I froze and we both stared at each other._

_Mr. Santiago** narrowed his eyes at me and I knew I was caught. I knew I was dead for sure now. I closed my eyes and waited for the second round of beatings to come from her husband. But instead, I heard, "Will, what happened? How did you get so beat up?"_

_I inhaled sharply and looked him in the eyes. "Mr. Santiago, I know you will hate me once I tell you this. Will you please take a drive with me so I can explain to you what's been going on?" I asked as politely as I could. How is someone supposed to tell a woman's husband that his wife had been fucking a teenager boy in the most sexually disturbing ways for the past five years?_

_Mr. Santiago looked at me with confusion and concern etched in his features. "Sure, son. But we can't take long. I have to pick Thomas up from the airport."_

_The drive at first was awkward, but I had to tell him. "Mr. Santiago, I have something I need to tell you, and I completely understand if you feel the need to beat the shit out of me, because I know my parents probably will once I tell them," I said and looked straight out the windshield. I can feel Mr. Santiago's eyes on me momentarily._

_"Well, son, I doubt I would ever do that to you. No matter how severe the issue is. I know all I can do is get angry and yell, but I could never raise a hand to anyone."_

Tell that to your wife_, I thought._

_"Sire, I completely understand if you feel the need to once I tell you this." I paused and took a deep breath. "Mr. Santiago, when my sister Ella tried to commit suicide and wound up in the psychiatric ward, I had trouble dealing with it. I often came to your house and spent time with Thomas to get my mind off it. But one day when I was thirteen years old, your wife took me into a secret room you have in your house. She took my virginity. And for the past five years I have cowered from her in fear because she has thought it ha_

_s been entertaining that she plays Sadist and Masochist with me. I have hated every second of it. But I was always so terrified by her and her punishments. But tonight I came to tell her it had to stop. _

_"I have been accept to the London Institute on scholarship and I took the offer. Well, when I came to tell her, she didn't take it too well. She told me she loved me, and then she beat the shit out of me. Then we wound up upstairs, and I left right after. Sir, I am so sorry for this. I know you love her very much. I know it was wrong and that it was a mistake for me. If I could take back the last five years, I would." I finally gained the courage to look at him. He had parked the car in my driveway and was now staring straight ahead._

_"Son, let me tell you something. Camille and I have been very distant for years, and it has been long before you that it started. I have had my fair share of affairs, and she clearly has as well. I respect you and thank you for telling me this. I apologize she has done this to you. But please, make sure you love the person you marry, or you will end up like this. We have a very dysfunctional marriage, and we both have our separate ways of dealing with our differences. They are not healthy decisions, but it is what it is. You will know when she loves you, son. Camille once loved me very much, and I her, but it's been hard," Mr. Santiago admitted to me._

_"Sir, why don't you go get her back? It's not too late. Take her on a nice weekend vacation, and make yourselves fall back in love. Sometimes all a relationship needs is time together, alone, where they can rediscover their hidden relationship."_

_Mr. Santiago looked at me for a long time. "Son, how do you know these things?"_

_I shrugged my shoulders. "If there's anything I have learned in the past five years, it's that. Sir, you have a very attractive wife. Don't let her get away from you," I told him before opening the car door. "And sir, thank you for listening. Maybe I'll see you around when I come back from university." I shut the door and went inside my house, where I had to face my parents when I told them what has been going on._

"Will," Tessa breathed.

The sound of her voice snapped me from my reverie, and her face came back into view. Oh, in Angel's name, what was she doing to me?

Why could just her face alone, with her big grey eyes, tousled hair, and flushed cheeks, bring me back to reality?  
"Yes?" I replied, still slightly far away.

"I'm so sorry, Will. I-I would have never guessed."

I shook my head. "Don't be sorry, Tess. Only very few people know."

"Have you seen her since?" she asked.

I focused my eyes on hers. "No, and I don't plan on it."

Something dawned on me in that moment, as she caressed my cheek with one hand and squeezed my hand with the other.

"Tessa, when Mr. Santiago told me about falling in love, I was unsure if I could ever feel that way after what Camille had done. But you, Tessa, you make me feel like anything is possible."

She grinned warmly at me and crawled into my lap. "I feel the same way, Will."

"Can I ask you something?" she said.

"Of course," I mumbled into her hair. I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders as I fell back on the bed with her. We were curled into each other, and I had never felt closer to anyone in my life before.

"If you're done with that life, then why do you still have that box?"

I sighed. "I keep it so I know exactly what I don't want to me. It keeps me from going back into that dark place because, well, I can reflect back on its effect on me."

"And what about your ideas from earlier?"

I shook my head. "That, my dear Tess, is a minor thing that we can discuss another time."

She yawned. "Okay, Will."  
I fell asleep to her steady breathing.

**Hello beautiful people! I know what you're all thinking… 1) Why is the chapter short? (I needed to update and get Will's story out of the way—don't worry, next chapter will be longer!) and 2) Where is Jem's POV? (Don't think I forgot! I have big plans for Jem… :))**

**How was chapter 8 guys?! I know the ending was kind of lame, and I'll probably update it once i finish the story! Please R&R :)**

***—sorry for this image… he is a guy! But also, I needed it to make sense why he was with her to start with.**

****—I only know about this because I read the Fifty Shades of Grey books… enough said. Right?**

***—yes… Raphael Santiago. Didn't see that one coming, did you?**

**Right! Playlist.**

**Human—Christina Perri**

**Lame playlist, I know. But I listened to this song on repeat…**

**Anyway! Sorry if this was a lame chapter, I'll update it! I've just been tired and didn't want to keep you guys waiting any longer! R&R! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and favorite and followed! You guys mean the world to me. :)**

**Xoxo!**

**~Caitlyn**


	9. Gideon Or Jem?

**Hi friends! :) How was chapter 8? Now that both secrets are out…**

**What do you guys think?**

**_OMG GUYS! DON'T BE MAD AT ME! Okay, enough caps. But seriously, don't be angry. I have read the first four (and a half) books of TMI. I got _****_bored with COLS halfway through and stopped… :O and now I remember hardly anything about it or the books because it has been SO LONG. SOOOOO who thinks I have enough time to re-read all the books before then?! Challenge, yay or nay?_**

**I am updating sooner because I'm upset… I just received a $158 ticket for running a red light that I honestly don't even remember…**

**That was a really great conversation with my parents considering I have to pay it. **

**Anyway! Fun little anecdote on my life. **

_**I had an idea! I was considering letting some of my most loyal readers follow me on Instagram (if you guys have one?!) so you could see me, and I could see you guys! If you're interested, PM me for more details.**_

**combatbootchic12: I soooo look forward to your reviews because they always make me happy! Anyway, yes, Tatiana will be making an appearance, and most definitely… Camille as well… :O**

**bow down to me peasants: I think you enjoy the Wessa more than everyone who reads!**

**Morning and Eve: Camille will always be a bitch, no matter what book or story she's put in to. And yes… I have read Fifty Shades of Grey… Is that bad? I actually thought they were good books! Funny story behind those. They were a gift to me two Christmases ago (my birthday is on Christmas :D). My boyfriend got them for me. No, not because he wanted me to read them, but because I specifically asked for them. At the time I didn't know quite the extent of sexual content they contained, but they weren't that bad!**

**AmityClary2020: I have been considering Jem and Sophie… but I haven't decided if I should make Jem gay or not… What are your thoughts?**

**Okay people! You know the drill. :) R&R and… of course… ENJOY!  
Disclaimer: Come on, guys… I only own the plot.**

* * *

Chapter 9~Gideon… or Jem?

JEM'S POV

It had been nearly a week since Will and Tessa came clean about each other's secrets. At first, neither of them spoke to me because they believed my intention was to drive them apart.

In reality, that wasn't my intention at all; no, I wanted them to trust each other first.

Because, as much as it upset me, I knew Tessa needed someone like Will and Will needed someone like Tessa.

I woke up one morning to hysterical laughing downstairs.

The source?

Definitely Tessa.

"_William_!" she squealed.

I groaned.

And so the tickling war continues between them.

I forced myself out of bed, rubbing my eyes as I threw on a t-shirt and stumbled out of my room.

"I swear, I will murder them," I muttered under my breath.

"Will, if you don't stop _right now_—," Tessa was saying before bursting into another fit of giggles.

"What are you going to do about it, Miss Gray?" Will asked, his tone husky and full of sexual innuendos.

I shuddered.

Anything sexual between the two of them disgusted me.

"If you two don't _shut up_ in the mornings, I _will_ kill you," I snapped as I rounded the corner.

Will whipped his head around, momentarily forgetting about Tessa, who was draped over his lap. He must have been supporting her because she was all limbs as she fell off him and onto the floor with a loud _thump_.

"_Will,_" she hissed. "If you think you're getting any after _that_—,"

"Oookay, I did _not_ need to know that," I said.

"Theresa, do you see what you've done? You had to go and wake up Mr. Grumpy Gills," Will said as Tessa tossed herself back into Will's lap, letting her long hair sweep the floor as she looked up at Will.

"It's not _my_ fault he isn't a morning person!" she cried, sitting up.

"Perhaps it's because you guys wake me up so early every morning. I mean, really, I don't even have class until ten. And it's…" I paused, glancing at the clock on the coffee maker in the kitchen. "Seven. What could you guys possibly be entertained by this early? And why on the Angel's name would you _want_ to get up this early?"

Will and Tessa exchanged a knowing glance. I shook my head and shuffled toward the kitchen.

"Never mind. I don't even want to know."

"Jem, I believe you may have the wrong idea about—," Will started to say, but Tessa's phone rang. I knew by the ringtone, "#SELFIE"* that it was Sophie.

"Hey, Soph, what's going on?" Tessa answered. At the mention of her name, I felt my cheeks flush.

I noticed how Will admired Tessa. His violet eyes skimmed over her face as she spoke, looking down at the floor and biting her lip. His eyes were filled with wonder, and another strong emotion that dominated every feature of his face as she leaned into him.

I sighed. Would I ever find something like that?

"What do you mean you left Gideon? He's perfect for you!"

My shoulders tensed. Her and Gideon were over?

I made coffee while eavesdropping on Tessa's conversation.

Tessa was staring right at Will as she spoke, a small smile playing on her lips. "Just because he said that about Will doesn't mean you have to leave him."

Wait… Gideon had said something about Will _and_ hurt Sophie?  
Oh, I could hurt that kid.

He didn't have the best temper on the playing field, either.

Tessa got off the phone a few minutes later and untangled herself from Will, who looked disappointed. She stretched, her shirt coming up and revealing a sparkly belly button ring. It caught Will's attention and he reached for Tessa's waist, pulling her back into him.

"Will, I have to go. Sophie needs me."

"What did Gideon say about Will?" I wondered, unable to contain my curiosity.

Tessa looked over her shoulder at me before once again breaking away from Will. "Nothing, really. He made some comment about Will and his sister, Tatiana."

Alarmed, my eyes flickered to Will over her shoulder. He paled, every emotion dropping from his expression instantly.

I frowned, stepping around the island. I had to distract her so Will could pull himself together. "What about Tatiana?"

Tessa shrugged. "Not much. Something about them freshman year. Sophie didn't really elaborate, just that they had a fling and Gideon said something about beating the living shit out of Will because he just now found out."

Will ran a hand over his face and stood up. "It was a long time ago, Tess. Nothing you should worry yourself with."

Tessa gave him her best fake smile; that I could identify from a million miles away. "Yeah, whatever. I'll see you later?"

He nodded and pulled her in for a kiss. She broke away too soon and bounded out the door before anything else could be said.

Will's careful composure fell apart the moment she left. His shoulders dropped and he turned to me, shoving his hands through his hair.

"Jem, what the hell do I do? I know Tessa knows Tatiana."

I shook my head. "There's nothing you can do but tell her the truth. Plus, there isn't much truth to tell. You guys were fuck buddies. It is what it is. It's over now, and you just have to reassure her of that."

Will groaned and paced back and forth. "I should have just told her when I told her everything else about me. Then I wouldn't feel like this now."

"Gideon's a jerk anyway. He's probably purposefully trying to ruin your relationship with Tessa because you took quarterback from him this year."

He looked at me for a moment, as if considering this. "You're probably right. Perhaps I should serenade Tessa—,"  
"Absolutely not," I interjected.

"What rhymes with Tessa?"

"Will, that's not a good idea."

"How about…"

"Will, don't you dare."

"'_Oh Tessa! You're such a mess of_—,'" he stopped suddenly, scowling. "No, that won't work."

I laughed. "That'll just offend her."

"What if I tried to rhyme her last name?"

"I don't think you should attempt to serenade her at all," I admitted.

"'_Oh Miss Gray, please don't ever go away_," he sang.

I shook my head, amused. I poured myself a cup of coffee.

"It's a start, James."

I rolled my eyes, then noted the expression on his face. He was being serious but had his signature playful look.

"You're being serious."

He shrugged. "I've considered it. I have my guitar upstairs."

I cocked an eyebrow. "And why exactly would you sing to her and play your guitar for her, Will?"

Will just smirked. "I can also play the piano quite well."

"William."

"What bands does she like, James?"

I sighed and rubbed my temples. "One Direction. She _loves_ One Direction."*

Will's lips curled back. "Stop messing with me, Jem."

I laughed. "I'm not. She has posters of them in her dorm room." At his dubious expression, I added, "It must be an American thing."

"Ah, I see. What songs does she like by them?"

"Every single one of them."

"That's helpful, James."

I halfheartedly raised one shoulder as I sipped my coffee. "We aim to please, Mr. Herondale."  
"You did not seriously just quote Fifty Shades of Grey," Will remarked.

I chuckled into my coffee cup. "You think I didn't know you read those books? I stole them from you and returned them without you even knowing."

Will gawked at me. "You… read?"

"Ha-ha. Very funny, Will. Really, that's hysterical."

"In the nine years I have known you, you have not once quoted a book to me."

"Yes, well, normal people don't memorize everything they read."

"And you just so happened to memorize _Fifty Shades of Grey_?"

I grinned and winked at Will over my cup. "Don't act so surprised, Will. Perhaps that's the kind of vice I enjoy."

"Oh, please," Will scoffed. "No Carstairs is not allowed to have vices."

"Maybe not. But not unless there is a particular one they enjoy."  
"James Carstairs! I know for a fact that reading sex novels is not a vice you enjoy. Perhaps you enjoyed the trilogy, but it is not a vice you would choose over all others."

"Nope, and you will never know what it is."  
Will looked appalled. "Wait, what? Jem, I'm your best friend!"

"'Tis true, William. But a magician never reveals his secret."  
He gave me a strange look and then shook his head. "Are you trying to tell me you're into magic now?"

"No, Will. It was a metaphor. Aren't you supposed to be the more literate one?"

He sighed. "Oh, Jem. What must we do with you?"

* * *

SOPHIE'S POV

I lied next to Gideon in his bed. I was happy, much happier than I had been since everything with Mortmain had happened.

Gideon made me feel happy. He made me feel _confident._ He made me feel _good_.

Perhaps that's the main reason I was with him to begin with?

"How has football been going?" I asked him, glancing up at him.

He really was handsome, with his almost-too-long blonde hair, velvety green eyes, and strong jaw. Not even mentioning the body he had…

"It's been going really well," he told me, then frowned. "Although Will has been getting on my nerves lately."

"Why? What's going on?"

"He plays well, as always. There's never been a doubt to how well he plays, but his head has been everywhere but the game."

I sat up, pulling the sheets around my body. "Why do you think his head has been elsewhere?"

Gideon sat up as well, his muscles flexing distractedly. "He's been with your friend, Tessa, a lot lately. I see them everywhere together. Not to mention that she stays there constantly."

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "And how would you know that?"

He rubbed his hands over his face. "All he talks about is her. It's sickening, actually, considering everything that happened with my sister," he spat, his jaw locking and his eyes hardening.

"Whoa, what do you mean? What happened with Tatiana?"

He turned his attention to me. "You mean you really don't know?"

I shook my head.

"Damn. Well, freshman year they had a 'no strings attached' kind of relationship. Well, guess who got strings attached? Fucking Tatiana. Then Will had to run away like he does because he doesn't like confrontation. He broke her heart, you know that? And I'm afraid that's what he's going to do to Tessa."

"When did you find out about him and Tatiana?"

Gideon's face flushed beet red. "Like a week ago! I swear I almost killed him for laying a goddamn finger on her. I asked some of the guys if they knew anything about his and Tessa's relationship and that's when they told me. I was so tempted to murder him on the field."

I sighed and crawled off the bed. "Well, I see how he looks at Tessa. This is no temporary, 'no strings attached' kind of relationship."

Gideon laughed as I searched for my clothes. "Are you justifying his actions with my sister, Soph?"

"No," I snapped. "I am not justifying what he did to your sister, but I'm saying that this isn't the same situation and it's clear as daylight that it's different."

"By the Angel, Sophie, you'd think after everything you've gone through, you'd be the one to understand my situation," he sneered.

I gaped at him. "Really? You're going to pull that card? Because I got raped, you'd think I would understand any kind of sexual situation? Wow."

Gideon's face fell. "Sophie, that isn't what I meant at all—,"

"Well it sure as hell sounded like it."

I yanked all of my clothes on, ignoring his protests.

"Fuck you, Gideon," I yelled before marching out of his dorm room.

With tears in my eyes, I dialed Tessa's phone number.

"Hey, Soph, what's going on?" she answered.

Annoyed, I wiped at my eyes. "I left Gideon just now. I guess I just needed someone to talk to. I know you're with Will and all—,"

"What do you mean you left Gideon? He's perfect for you!" she cried.

I laughed. "Yeah, I thought so too. I was starting to think I was with him because of the sex. Anyway, he was being a jerk, talking about how he wanted to kill Will after finding out about what happened between him and his sister Tatiana."

There was a pause. "Just because he said that about Will doesn't mean you have to leave him."

"No," I replied slowly. "It doesn't mean that. The whole back story was that Tatiana and Will had a fling freshman year. Will wanted a 'no strings attached' relationship, but Tatiana fell for him. Basically he broke her heart, and Gideon just found out about it. Well, the reason I left him is because he made some remark that 'because of everything I've gone through I of all people should understand.' So I said 'fuck you' and left."

"Yeah, that's not okay for him to say. It's not like it happened years ago, either," Tessa said distantly.

"Tessa, are you okay?"

"Yeah, of course! Do you want me to come back?"

I pushed the doors open leading from the dorm to the fresh air outside, where I could breathe again. "You're with Will. I would never ask that of you."

She sighed. "Too bad. I'm coming. See you in a bit."

She hung up without another word, and I knew, even without her saying anything, that the Tatiana situation had upset her.

* * *

TESSA'S POV

I gave Will a quick kiss on the lips, breaking away slightly too soon. I rushed out the door and to my car before either Jem or Will could stop me.

It was hard enough hearing about Will's previous sex life, I wasn't sure how much more I could take. One crooked look from Jessamine, and I felt like crumpling under the pressure. Now with knowing about _Tatiana_ of all people.

I knew Tatiana.

I liked her.

No wonder she'd been giving me the cold shoulder lately…

Oh, God, why is it hard for me to breathe?

I pulled away from Will's cabin, my tires peeling out as I tried to get away as fast as I possible could.

I just needed time, that's all. I think I just needed time to process everything with Will.

I didn't realize how badly I was speeding until I pulled into the dormitory parking lot in under ten minutes.

I took a deep breath and went to my dorm room.

Sophie had the door open before I even got there, pulling me inside.

"Tessa, I know you're upset about the Tatiana thing. Don't even try to deny it because I know you and I know that's why you got all quiet and distant on the phone," she said quickly.

"So what if I am? I've found out a lot about Will lately. I just need to take some time to take it all in."

She rolled her eyes. With the angle she was at, her scar looked almost silver against her tan skin. "Oh, please Tessa. I think you're scared." She crossed her arms and pursed her lips.

"Scared? You think I'm _scared_? Of _what_, exactly?" I demanded incredulously.

"I don't know! You tell me, Tessa. Personally I think you've been scared about having feelings for Will because whenever you hear something new about him you run away and come back to the dorms. Why?"

"I don't do that!" I cried in denial.

"Right, and British boys aren't hot! That's bullshit and you know it is."

She was right. I knew she was, yet I couldn't bring myself to admit it.

"I think you're looking for an excuse as to why he shouldn't be good enough for you. But in all reality, Tessa, he _is perfect_ for you. I think that scares you."

"Okay, yes, Sophie! You're right! I am scared! I don't want to fall for someone and have it wind up like my relationship with Nate did!"

"Tessa! I understand it hurt but that was _months_ ago! You need to look at who the next person in your life should be."

She had a point.

I groaned, sitting on the edge of my bed and putting my head in my hands.

What if my feelings for Will were stronger than I was making them out to be?

* * *

WILL'S POV

The London Institute released their students for Thanksgiving break in just over a week.

I couldn't bear to go two weeks without seeing Tessa.

She was going back to New York to see her friends and family, but I really wanted her to meet mine.

So, with Jem's permission, I decided to contact Tessa's friends and family. Jem and I emailed her parents and her friends into maybe flying over to London to surprise her. Jem was still trying to figure out what was going on with me, why I was so insistent on doing this.

But truth is, not even I knew why I was so desperate to do this.

But I just went with it anyway.

* * *

I was in the kitchen making dinner for three. I hadn't heard from Tessa all day, and I didn't know if she was even going to come back here, but I decided to make her dinner anyway.

In a pot I was boiling noodles. In a sauce pan beside it I was making the famous Herondale spaghetti sauce.

Plus, I knew spaghetti was Tessa's favorite dish, and whatever had upset her earlier would hopefully dissipate when she realized I made her favorite dinner with a family twist to it.

I exhaled sharply as I cut mushrooms, olives, onions—

The door opened and my head snapped up, desperately wishing it would be Tessa.

It was just Jem. He said he would be out for a while, but I had no idea where he was going. His face was flushed with a healthy glow against his pale pallor.

"William, is that your famous spaghetti that I'm smelling?" he asked as he came in. He took off his scarf and wool jacket, hanging it on the coat rack just inside the door.

I laughed. "Indeed it is. Where have you been, James?"

"Wow, is there a special someone coming over tonight that I should be gone for?" he asked as he sat at the bar joining the kitchen counters.

I smiled. "I don't really know, but I certainly hope so. And no, you don't need to go out. I made enough for all three of us."

"Good, because I'm starving."

"James, where did you go? And why is your face flushed?"

Jem froze, scratching the back of his neck. "It's cold outside. Anyway, did you make some Hawaiian rolls? Those are my favorite!"

"They're Tessa's too, so yes I made them. Is it—hey! Don't change the subject!"

Jem cracked a small smile. "I was out with Sophie. I had to make sure she was doing okay after everything with Gideon."

"What did you guys do?" I wondered. I was ecstatic to see Jem like this. For so long he had searched for something… for someone…

Jem shrugged. "Not much, really. We went out for coffee. It started snowing, so we stayed in the coffee shop for a bit, then we went outside and ran around." He flushed a deeper red.

"James, I—,"

The door open, and there stood Tessa.

She looked absolutely beautiful.

Her long brown hair was curled in tight curls down her back and her make up was simple. She shut the door behind her before walking right up to me.

I swallowed. I was at a loss of words at the sight of her in her short black dress and stockings.

She grabbed both sides of my face and pulled me in for a kiss.

I snaked my arms around her waist, pulling her close as she pried my lips open with hers.

When she pulled away, she was breathless, as was I.

"Tessa, I'm so—," I started.

She pressed a finger to my lips. "No. Me first. I'm sorry for leaving the way I did, Will. But the truth is that I'm scared. I'm scared of trusting someone again. After everything with Nate, and then with Mortmain… I didn't think I'd ever be ready to trust someone again to be with them. But then you came along, Will. You came along and changed everything. You have faith in me and you adore me and I absolutely love that. I want you to know that I'm ready. I'm ready to put everything behind me and move on with you."

The happiness inside me couldn't compare to anything else.

I caressed her cheek with my hand. "I have been thinking the same thing you have. I'm so done with living in the past and constantly living in fear of something that I can just move forward with. I have been pushing people away for years now to avoid hurting them when I should have let them in before I hurt myself. You changed everything, Tessa. You change my thoughts and the way I live my life, but in the best of ways."

She grinned the biggest grin I'd ever seen her wear. She kissed me long and hard again.

"Is that spaghetti I smell?" she asked.

I had completely forgotten. I held up one finger.

"Give me one minute."

I put all of my ingredients into the sauce in the sauce pan and stirred it all together. The noodles were done, so I strained them.

I felt Tessa's eyes on me the whole time I worked.

When it was done, I turned to her, holding the spoon over the sauce pan.

"Would you like to try it?" I asked her.

Her eyes lit up. "What kind of a question is that?"

Tessa took some off the spoon, and her eyes widened. "By the Angel, Will, that is absolutely amazing. What did you put in that?"

I winked at her. "It's a secret."

She pouted, and I kissed her.

"With time you shall know," I whispered.

"Hey!" Jem cried. I had completely forgotten he was there. I glanced over my shoulder and saw he was playing on his phone.

"Yes, James?"

"I don't even know that secret!" he complained.

Tessa giggled. "I suppose that makes me special."

I frowned. "No, Jem is special. You are _extra_ special," I told her, which brought a blush to her cheeks.

"Oh, Will," Jem and Tessa said together.

I beamed from ear to ear.

I was with my two favorite people, save my family for later. My best friend and my girlfriend.

And that's all I really needed.

* * *

**Heyyyy people! Sooo bringing up some of the points from my above A/N.**

**_Want to follow me on Insta? PM me._**

**_Challenge for TMI? Let me know in your review. This truly would be a challenge for me considering I have ACT, SAT, Dual Enrollment, Externship, and 2 AP Exams to do. Buuuuttt if you guys want to challenge me, give me a set of rules to follow, and I'll do it._**

**_As always, R&R and if you don't, well, I'll be sad._**

**_OH ANNNNDDDD SHOULD JEM BE GAY, OR SHOULD HE BE WITH SOPHIE?! Because I have a plan either way._****  
Playlist:**

**Heart By Heart—Demi Lovato (Of course because Will and Tessa have this connection that will only continue to grow and—coincidentally—this was in the TMI movie :P)**

**Fire Starter—Demi Lovato (Tessa already has this kind of attitude, and so does Sophie, but this attitude will become more prominent as we continue)**

**Warrior—Demi Lovato (This song applies to both this chapter and the past 2 chapters… :O for obvious reasons, I hope)**

**Skyscraper—Demi Lovato (Tessa and Sophie are stronger and better than before)**

**Let It Go—Idina Menzel (As Tessa, Sophie, and Will all move on past their history)**

***—Yes… this song is absolutely… Ahhhh catchy but absolutely ridiculous! If you haven't heard it, look it up. #Selfie by The Chainsmokers… talk about the epitome of teenagers these days, they actually made a song for it.**

****—I'll admit it… I LOVE One Direction. No, I'm not a crazy OMFG I WILL MARRY ALL OF THEM AND PROBABLY PASS OUT IF I MEET THEM kind of love. I just mean I love their music. So yes, I really am the Typical White Girl.**

*****—Yes, I've read Fifty Shades of Grey. As I told Morning and Eve, they were a Christmas gift from my boyfriend (two years on May 14th, yay!) because I asked for them, not because he knew what they were.**

**ANYWAY! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please R&R! :)**

**XOXO!  
~Caitlyn**


	10. Snowed In

**Hello friends! :) So, as I told SilverCarstairs (shout-out to her! If any of you haven't read her story "Love This Town"... you should! She is an amazing writer and I LOVE that story!) my plan for updating this story is the following:  
As I'm sure most of you know, Cassie Clare's last TMI book comes out on May 27th (right?). I have read the first four (and a half) books of this series. By the time the fifth book came out, I didn't remember too much of what happened, so the fifth book didn't make a whole lot of sense. So I stopped halfway through. ANYWAY, if anyone actually read my A/N from the previous chapter, you'd know I was proposing a challenge. This challenge consisted of me re-reading the first five books so that the sixth book will make sense to me. Well, the lovely Miss SilverCarstairs challenged me to do so, so I am. I have recently finished CoB (which I started Sunday) and am now onto CoA. In return for each book I finish, I will update this story!**

**Also, I feel obligated to give SilverCarstairs an extra, super duper mega huge THANK YOU for her WONDERFUL ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS reviews on my story (they may not appear under my reviews because, well, the devil in her decided she would subtly review under a GUEST name). They made my day.**

**So, getting to the point! Here are my responses:**

**combatbootchic12: I don't know if Jem will be "gay". It's still in the air because I have a lot of conflicted emotions about it. But yes, there will be Jem/Sophie in here! Keep reviewing! Your support works wonders!**

**bow down to me peasants: What wouldn't surprise you?! Jem being gay? Or what? Also... who is Jily?! :O I agree with you... boys who can cook is SO HOT!**

**Morning and Eve: TBH, I didn't want to stop writing this chapter. It was nice to do it from several POV's, and I feel like the chapter flowed really well! Yes, Fifty Shades of Grey really wasn't so bad... and as for 1D... I LOVE THEIR MUSIC. I can't stop listening to it. You will definitely be seeing TONS of their music on my chapter playlists. And BTW, you saying you'd all die if I published a book... well, that meant the world to me and if you could see my face you would see the biggest smile! Yes, I know there are lots of Gideon/Sophie shippers, but I haven't decided if they will get back together and you will hear more about it. As for you! I have a surprise. You'll get the best of both worlds with Jem.**

**AmityClary2020: Well, Jem won't be "gay". But... well, you'll see! Don't stop reading it just because there will be an unexpected turn of events... I promise you it will work out in a great way! :)**

**SilverCarstairs: *Sigh*. Okay. Where to start with you! This will be a long response, just an FYI. Ahhhh so YOU'RE my mysterious Guest who I always respond to... BTW I AM COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH LOVE THIS TOWN! And you have NO IDEA HOW EXCITED I WAS TO SEE YOU REVIEWED MY STORY! Anyway, I can't wait to see how you work the Will thing into your story! Thank you so much for saying I'm awesome and fabulous! It means the world. And thank you *flips hair* for saying I have raw humor and brightness that lacks in other people. I don't get that very often so it made me extremely happy to read that. Reading your A/N's on LTT, I remember you saying you like believable fluff, so... I try to do that in my stories because I think other readers like that too. My "vices" reference was aimed toward you, in hopes one day you would read my story! Also, just so you know, I'm wearing my crown right now, with a stamp on my forehead that reads "I MADE SILVERCARSTAIRS LIKE AND FAVORITE A WESSA FIC". BTW, I super look forward to every chapter of LTT. Every time I get the notification, I fangirl and read it immediately.**

**liveloveread485: Well, I think there ****will be a little bit of three worlds when it comes to Jem. You'll see. By the Angel, I don't think I could stop writing this just now. I love writing it. I love the support I get.**

* * *

Chapter 10-Snowed In

TESSA'S POV

Winter came exceptionally early this year. In the past three years I had lived in London to attend the London Institute, winter had always arrived in the beginning to mid-December. Well, by "winter" I meant the snow. It did, of course, get cold early in the year, around October.

However, this year winter came just before Thanksgiving break.

I had slept over at Will's cabin again, and had just woken up. Nothing in particular had awoken me this time; a rare occasion for me. I was dressed in one of Will's t-shirt and my underwear. This was not unusual attire for me in the vicinities of Will's bedroom.

Will was still fast asleep in his bed, on his stomach. His head was turned toward me, his eyes peacefully shut, his lips parted slightly from his quiet breathing. His black curls lazily fell over his forehead, his eyelashes curling at his cheekbones, and he was shirtless. The covers of his bed only covered half his back, the rest of which showed his smooth, light skin and corded muscles with every breath he took.

He was beautiful.

Everything about him took my breath away, from the sharp yet elegant angles of his face to his tall, lean body.

The past week had been something out of a fairytale. Will made me dinner every night, then lit a fire in the fireplace to keep warm while we drank hot chocolate and cuddled, simply talking. I stayed with him every night.

I frowned suddenly, realizing that not once had we actually had sex since the day he'd made me spaghetti. It was an odd feeling. I was used to waking up sore with only the blankets covering me.

I pushed the thoughts away and gently got off the bed. I went over to the window and nearly shrieked in delight.

The ground and trees outside were coated in a thick layer of the white fluff. My view was slightly obscured by the moderately falling snow.

I had always loved snow, since I was a little girl. Even when I was in New York I was mesmerized by the falling flakes.

They reminded me of something you'd see out of a Disney princess movie.* Everything glittered with an orange tint from the rising sun. I couldn't restrain the gasp that escaped me; it was all so beautiful.

I tore my gaze from the window despite the excitement coursing through my veins. I had to find Jem. He knew what joy this brought to me.

I grabbed my yoga pants off the floor and yanked them on, already halfway out the door of Will's room. I raced down the stairs, hoping I wouldn't fall. I spotted Jem by the front window by the front door.

"Jem!" I gasped.

He turned his silver head to look at me, giving me a dazzling smile that stretched from ear-to-ear. The whiteness of his teeth were the same color as the snow outside.

I bounced up and down on my tiptoes. "Jem! The snow is here! Do you know what this means?"

"Of course I do!" he cried.

I launched myself at him, jumping onto his back. He swung me around in circles, and I giggled like a child. I slid off his back and gripped his shoulders, turning him to face me.

I knew my face was flushed from giddiness. "Do you wanna build a snowman?" I asked, feeling the uncontainable grin stretch across my face again.

"What kind of question is that?" he said. "Get your shoes on, Gray."

He didn't need to ask twice. I grabbed my rain boots and socks from beside the front door, pulling them on and stuffing my yoga pants into the boots.

"Jeeeemmm," I whined. "Hurry!"

"I'm trying! Two hands only gets me so far with these boots-,"

I grasped his hand as soon as he finished tying the second boot and pulled him outside.

As soon as my feet hit the ground, I took off running, spreading my arms wide and tipping my head back to catch flakes on my tongue. I spun around and around and around and around-

I stumbled backwards, right onto my butt. The snow provided a cushioned fall.

"Oh," I cried out in surprise. "Oh, that's cold!"

I staggered to my feet and saw Jem looking at me in amusement. His eyes glinted mischievously.

"Jem, why-,"

But I had spoken too late. Jem raised his arms, releasing a fat, compacted snowball. I didn't have time to attempt to dodge it. It hit my shoulder, stinging only slightly against the bare skin.

"JAMES CARSTAIRS!" I screamed playfully, turning away to run away from him. I bent down and scooped snow into my hands, cupping it to press it together. I glanced up and saw Jem racing toward me. I let my snowball go airborne; it hit Jem in the gut.

He gripped his stomach, then raised his head slowly. At first, I thought I had angered him, but he grinned suddenly and dumped a handful of snow onto my head.

The cold immediately seeped into my scalp, but I shook out my hair, releasing wet drops into the air.

The front door swung open, and a tired Will in a t-shirt, sweats, and boots stood in the doorway. He looked livid as his eyes flickered between me and Jem.

Confused, I stepped toward him, as did Jem. We exchanged smug expressions.

"Will, we didn't mean to wake you-," I started.

He opened his mouth to respond, but both Jem and I tossed our snowballs at Will. Mine hit Will in the face; Jem's hit him in the chest.

Will blinked, and rubbed a hand over his face.

I thought I had upset him even more, but his face broke out into a grin. He shut the door behind him and tackled me into the snow.

"William!" I cried despite my laughter. The coldness of the snow melted through my clothes. I rolled on top of him, picking up a small pile of snow and dropping it onto his face.

I crawled off him, running to Jem for protection. A snowball hit my back as I was running. I stopped and whirled around as another one hit my head.

I faked falling to the ground in pain. Jem knew this act of mine all too well; he just stood and stared at me with amusement coloring his features.

"Tessa?" Will said, jogging over to me. He kneeled down beside me. "Tessa, are you alright? Did I hurt you?"

I could tell by the concern in his voice that he genuinely thought he had hurt me, and all too worse, I know it reminded him of Camille.

I lightened the mood by rubbing snow into his hair.

"I got you," I whispered into his ear. I could smell him; his soap and the scent of campfire and Will. I wanted to sit and inhale his scent all day.

The blue in his eyes lightened instantly and he wrapped his arms around me.

I saw Jem over my shoulder, scuffing his boot into the ground. Just as I was breaking Will's embrace, a car pulled into the driveway.

All three of us swiveled around to see who it was.

It was Sophie.

She got out of her car. The circles under her eyes were purple and stood out profoundly against her tan skin, and some leftover mascara was smudged under her eyes.

She looked restless, and freaked out.

I knew it was the nightmares and the paranoia of knowing Mortmain was out of jail.

I was about to push myself to my feet when Jem threw one, two, three snowballs at her, hitting her head, chest, arm-

Her face flushed in anger. "_Jem_-,"

He threw two more, his lips widening jovially and not exactly apologetically. "Come and get me, Soph."

Sophie laughed, her anger fading. She took off after Jem, not even giving me and Will a second glance.

I didn't want this moment to be ruined. Not with me having the time of my life with my best friend, best guy friend and the boy I was in love with.

Wait.

I shook my head, my eyes widening.

Had I just admitted to myself that I was _in love_ with Will?

No, no. No.

It can't be.

I can't be in love with Will.

It's not possible.

Not after Nate.

And Nate was just a few months ago...

But I remembered what Sophie had said.

I had to let Nate go and accept Will.

No, I wasn't in love with him. I couldn't accept that fact until he said it to me. _If _he ever said that to me.

Which I doubted he would.

He couldn't _possibly _be in love with someone like me, could he?

I stared at Will, trying to memorize how he looked in that precise moment. Water droplets coated his hair, rolling off his black licorice-colored curls, full lips pursed slightly, eyelashes clinging together from snow, fresh snowflakes on his clothes, hair, eyelashes, skin, dark blue eyes bright and...

Looking right at me.

He smirked.

"Tess, I do believe staring is considered rude in this country. You _have_ been here for three years, correct?" he said cockily.

I grinned. "Nearly two and a half, to be exact." I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his lips to mine. The warmth of his body was welcoming considering I was practically lying in snow, my bones feeling the effects of the cold.

Will pulled away slightly, brushing my unruly hair out of my face. "You're beautiful, you know that? Absolutely beautiful. You take my breath away."

My breath hitched in my throat, and I pulled back farther to get a good look at him. His cheeks were pink, adding color to his usual pale pallor. But everything but him was sincere, from the way he held me in his arms to the look in his eyes.

"You mean that?"

"Of course I do, Tess," he admitted. "I have thought that every second of every hour of every day since I met you, my snow princess."

My heart melted at his words. I was _his_ Tess. _Tess._ And _his_ snow princess. I swallowed, trying to think of something to say as I searched his eyes and...

Yep, I was in love with William Herondale.

But I couldn't tell him. No, I wanted him to say it to me first.

My mind had other plans, though. I opened my mouth, and the words tumbled out like word vomit.

I said, "Will, I love you," at the same moment Sophie screeched with shrill laughter of pure happiness and ran toward us. My words were too quiet and were lost in the sound of her exclamation.

Will glanced up momentarily and laughed as Jem grabbed for Sophie. They collapsed in the snow together.

Will turned his attention back to me. "What were you saying, Tess?"

I flushed and looked away. I didn't have the courage to say it again, and I was determined to keep it to myself.

"Nothing. Nothing, it was stupid."

He raised his perfectly arched eyebrows. "It doesn't seem like nothing. You don't blush for no reason, and you certainly don't avoid eye contact with me unless you're hiding something."

"I'm not hiding anything, Will. I said it, you just didn't hear it."

He smirked. "Whatever you say, Tessa."

I rolled my eyes and shivered violently. I hadn't realized how cold I was.

Will frowned. "We should get you inside."

He stood up, pulling me with him as he kept me snuggled into his body. My teeth chattered.

"Are you two lovebirds coming with us?" Will called over his shoulder to Jem and Sophie as we made our way to the front door.

"Yes!" Sophie's muffled cry came.

Will opened the door for me and a burst of warm air greeted us.

* * *

WILL'S POV

At first, I wasn't sure how to react when I woke up without Tessa next to me and to the sound of bright laughter; Tessa's, most definitely.

I was slightly angry as I pulled on a t-shirt and sweats and made my way downstairs.

I frowned when I got to the first floor of my lake house. Jem and Tessa were nowhere to be seen, but their laughter was evident. I glanced out the front window and spotted them throwing snowballs at each other.

i sighed, pulling on my boots by the front door. I swung the door open, standing in the door frame as both Tessa and Jem looked at me with wide eyes and uncertain expressions. They exchanged a glance, and it did nothing but anger me further.

How was I not supposed to get upset when, a week ago, my best friend, my _parabatai_, told me he was in love with my girlfriend?

They both stepped toward me, but it was Tessa who spoke.

"Will, we didn't mean to wake you-,"

I opened my mouth before she could finish, but saw at the same moment that Tessa and Jem had simultaneously bombarded me with snowballs. I didn't even have time to react other than flinch as one hit my face and the other hit my chest.

I blinked and wiped the snow off my face. I could see now they were just merely having fun. I saw the gleam of joy in Tessa's eyes, her chest rising and falling, the Cheshire grin on her face.

It was infectious.

As she was regarding me, I raced toward her and tackled her into the snow, bracing her fall.

"William!" she said through her laughter.

I could feel the snow stinging my skin where I touched it.

She rolled on top of me and dumped a handful of snow on my face. I spluttered, chuckling, wiping it from my eyes so I could see her scramble to her feet and flash me a devilish grin. She raced toward Jem, but I stood and threw a snowball at her. It hit her back, so I scooped up another handful and tossed it. It hit her head, and she turned around.

Tessa looked surprised and I saw her eyes flash in pain. She sank to her knees, clutching her head in her hands.

Oh, no.

What had I _done_?

I ran over to her. "Tessa? Tessa, are you alright? Did I hurt you?"

It terrified me, the thought that I could hurt her. I don't know what I would have done if I had. She would probably think I was a monster.

Or worse: she would probably think I was availing to my old ways again.

But all that faded away when she plopped more snow on my head, rubbing it through my thick hair.

She leaned forward, and I could smell her lavender shampoo wafting off her. I could smell _me_ on her. It made me dizzy.

"I got you," she whispered playfully.

I grinned and pulled her into my arms, holding her tightly to me. Tessa was pulling away when we heard a car pull into the driveway.

All three of us turned to see who it was. I didn't recognize her right away, not until she got out.

It was Sophie, looking frantic and scared. She looked exhausted, with dark half-moons under her eyes and smeared makeup. Her scar looked looked almost white in the broad daylight.

Suddenly snowballs were flying over my head and hitting Sophie. One, two, three.

"_Jem_-," Sophie snapped.

Four, five.

Her bad mood dissipated and she giggled. She chased after Jem, the two of them laughing hysterically.

I felt Tessa's eyes on me, so I turned my attention back to her.

"Tess, I do believe staring is considered rude in this country. You _have_ been here for three years, correct?" I asked her teasingly.

She beamed at me, her eyes full of admiration. "Nearly two and a half, to be exact." She entwined herself with me, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me passionately. Her body was cold, but familiar and comforting.

I pulled away slightly, brushing her untamed hair away from her face. She made me breathless, speechless even.

Everything about her stripped away my basic mortal abilities.

And looking at her now, in that moment, was like seeing her for the first time. She was beautiful, stunning, sexy, irresistible. Her wavy hair was still messy from sleep, but she didn't care. She sat in front of me like she didn't care who saw her. She had on no make-up, but she didn't need it. Her pale skin blended well with the background of snow, but her eyes stood out in the contrast of colors.

They were a light grey, lightly tinted blue.

"You're beautiful, you know that? Absolutely beautiful. You take my breath away," I told her, knowing I meant every word.

She gasped quietly, her eyes widening. Did she not realize her simple beauty was all it took for me to fall for her?

"You mean that?" she asked, so quietly I knew she doubted my words.

"Of course I do, Tess," I told her. "I have thought that every second of every hour of every day since I met you, my snow princess."

Yes, she was _my_ snow princess. Sitting here in the snow, in just yoga pants and one of my t-shirts, with snow falling all around us. Snow landed on her long eyelashes, and melted when she blinked and they touched her cheekbones. Snow was in her hair, her clothes, leaving white flecks on. She was smiling at me like there was no one else in the world.

She started to say something. "Will, I-,"

But I didn't hear the rest of it. Sophie squealed as Jem reached for her waist, pulling her back as they both collapsed in the soft snow. I laughed because I loved seeing Jem happy like this.

But then I remembered that Tessa had said something, so I looked back at her. Her face was more flushed now than it had been from the cold weather. She looked down.

"What were you saying, Tess?"

"Nothing. Nothing, it was stupid."

I knew those words were a lie as soon as they came out of her mouth.

Nothing she said was every stupid to me.

I raised my eyebrows. "It doesn't seem like nothing. You don't blush for no reason, and you certainly don't avoid eye contact with me unless you're hiding something," I noted.

She shrugged, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "I'm not hiding anything, Will. I said it, you just didn't hear it."

I sighed. I would get it out of her eventually. I always did.

"Whatever you say, Tessa."

She started shivering. How had I not noticed how cold she'd been?

I scowled. "We should get you inside."

I stood up, offering my hand to her to pull her into my body, keeping her close so she would warm up. Her teeth were chattering as she turned her head into my chest.

"Are you two lovebirds coming with us?" I called over my shoulder to Jem and Sophie as we made our way to the front door.

"Yes!" Sophie cried, her voice slightly muffled.

I opened the door for Tessa, gently pushing her inside as a gust of warm air greeted us.

* * *

Tessa and I had taken a long, hot shower together. Nothing sexual had happened between us. It was strange, actually, that we hadn't had sex at all since the day I'd made my special spaghetti for her.

Had it been any other girl, I would be concerned.

But it was Tessa.

And Tessa was all that mattered.

If she didn't want to constantly, then I was content with just being around her, just as I was that whole week.

But now, after the shower, we sat in front of the fireplace, curled into each other on the couch. I was stroking her wet hair down her back, which was now clothed in another one of my t-shirts.

The weather had drastically changed from the snowy, sunny weather. Now it was dark, snow falling so heavily I couldn't see any of our surroundings. Wind was howling around the cabin, occasionally rattling the windows.

"Will, you'll put me to sleep if you keep doing that," she mumbled.

I chuckled. "If you fall asleep, then I'll fall asleep."

She turned her head to look at me. She regarded me carefully. "I don't dread falling asleep anymore, Will. I can thank you for that. When I'm with you, all my fear disappears. I don't have those nightmares anymore. You made all of that go away."

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. What did she expect me to say?

"You make me feel like I'm not so screwed up, Tess."

The words were right there at the tip of my tongue.

Three words.

Eight letters.

My tongue formed the words, but my voice wouldn't work.

Why couldn't I say it?

Because...

Because she deserved to be told that in a special way.

Besides, what if she didn't say it back?

But it didn't matter, because in that moment, in the aftermath of our snow-fun, in the glowing light of the fire, when her eyes reflected the orange color, her hair falling around her face, I realized that I was in love her.

So helplessly in love with her.

It hit me like a freight train as she stared at me expectantly, her angelic lips forming an O, her eyes wide.

She wanted me to say it.

She was probing me to say it.

I was going to say it.

But then the doorbell rang.

Who could have been at the door in this kind of storm? Sophie had already gone home, a few hours ago.

* * *

JEM'S POV

I was just getting out of the shower when the doorbell rang. I had on a pair of track pants, hanging off my hips, and was rubbing my head with a towel when I heard it.

I groaned, knowing neither Tessa nor Will was going to answer that.

I strolled out of my bathroom upstairs and padded down the stairs.

I was wrong; Tessa and Will had emerged from the living room and were both staring at the door in bewilderment.

"Generally when the doorbell rings, you're supposed to answer it," I joked as I reached the bottom of the stairs.

"But who would show up here in _this_ weather?" Will asked, horror threaded in his voice.

I rolled my eyes and pulled the door open. The wind bit the bare skin of my chest.

In the doorway stood a tall, blonde boy with bright blue eyes, watering from the wind, and a warm face.

Tessa gasped behind me, and I saw in my peripheral vision that she turned away, curling herself into Will's embrace. He accepted her gesture, wrapping himself around her and looking down at her lovingly.

"Who are you?" I asked, shivering.

"J-Jem, it's me. Na-Nathaniel Gr-Gray. I was j-just passing through here try-trying to get to-to c-campus," he stuttered. He had his arms wrapped around himself, a thick wool jacket not keeping much of the wind or cold out.

By the Angel.

How had I not recognized him before? I'd met Nate, several times. But he looked different. His hair was slightly longer, styled to the side, like he'd blow-dried it like that, and his face was more clear of blemishes. He was dressed more feminine than I was used to seeing him.

I gasped. I hadn't seen him since before him and Tessa had broken up. Actually, I hadn't seen him since before school got out last year.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded, my eyes narrowing at him. Nate's eyes roamed up and down my body, and my face heated up.

"I didn't know you were here," he said. "The storm is so bad, I can't see anything on the-the road. I was hop-hoping to stay here for a f-few hours until it let up?"

"Absolutely not," Will snapped, his eyes hard as stone as he glared at Nate.

I guess Will knew exactly what happened with Tessa and Nate.

"James, shut the door. You're letting all the warm air out," Will said.

I hesitated. I couldn't just _leave_ him there.

"Sure you can," Will responded.

Oops. Had I spoken that out loud?

I guess Tessa was rubbing off on me...

"William," Nate spat.

I stepped aside. "Come inside, Nate. You can leave when the storm lightens."

Nate stepped inside, his checks bright red. He looked around, his eyes suddenly landing on Tessa, who was still being protected by Will.

"Tessie," he said curtly.

Tessa flushed and broke away from Will. "You're not allowed to call me that anymore, Nate!" she yelled.

Nate looked taken aback. I leaned against the front door.

Tessa needed this closure.

"I called you 'Tessie' for two years. Old habits die hard, I guess," he snapped.

"Back off, Nate," Will said, stepping between the two of them.

"Will," I said, "let them figure this out on their own."

Will turned on me. "Who are you speaking for, James? You _of all_ people should understand! You let this _thing_ into _my_ lake house against my will!"

I rolled my eyes. "You're being dramatic, William."

Nate was laughing. Will's jaw locked.

"What the hell are you laughing at, Gray?"

Tessa, looking slightly confused, considering she went by the same last name, relaxed slightly upon realizing Will was not speaking to her.

"Just the fact that Tessa went from one football player to another. She's moving up in the league, isn't she? She started with me, the wide receiver. I heard she slept with a line backer, and now she's with the quarterback-,"

Tessa's hand cracked across his face. "Don't you _ever_ speak of me in such ways _again_, Nathaniel Gray. You don't know who I am. You gave up that privilege months ago."

I sighed, realizing this wasn't going anywhere good. "Okay, that's enough. I'll entertain Nate while you two do your own thing."

Nate and Tessa glared at each other. Will pulled at Tessa, finally having to sling her over his shoulder and go upstairs to break the feud.

I led Nate to the kitchen, asking if he wanted anything.

I was making him a sandwich when he asked me the most surprising question of all.

"You're not straight, are you, Jem? But you're not exactly gay, either."

I choked, nearly dropping the knife I was using to spread peanut butter. "What makes you say that?"

"I saw the way you looked at Will. But I've also seen how you looked at Sophie Collins all last year."

I aimed my knife at Nate. He held his hands up defensively. "You are to tell _no one_ of this. _Ever_. If I find out you told someone, this will be down your throat before you can blink again."

Nate swallowed. "Okay, Jem. I was just going to say that I've always thought you had a great body."

I shook my head, smiling a little. "No need to suck up now, Gray."

He scoffed. "Don't call me that. You already have one Gray in your life, and she's your best friend. A great person actually, with a loving personality. I think she's in love with Will. I saw how she was looking to him for support, how she admired him," he said.

I grinned. "I think Will loves her, too. When she's not around, he talks about wishing she was there. When she is around, all he can do is stare at her in awe. I've never seen either of them act like this, but I think they both needed it. I don't think they could've gotten over everything without each other."

* * *

**Hello again! Soooo how was chapter 10? :) It's one of my longest chapters. Actually, I spent my whole afternoon writing this because I finished CoB and I didn't want to cheat on my challenge (ahem, SilverCarstairs).**

***-Yes, Frozen inspired this chapter.**

**Playlist (disregarding that I was listening to One Direction's "Take Me Home-Yearbook Edition" Album the whole time...):**

**Do You Wanna Build A Snowman?-Anna from Frozen (it should be obvious...)**

**I Would-One Direction (I LOVE THIS SONG AND ALSO BECAUSE IT REMINDS ME OF WHAT TESSA AND NATE USED TO HAVE BUT NOW WHAT WILL AND TESSA HAVE-sorry for the caps.)**

**What Makes You Beautiful-One Direction (this song inspired the scene about Will describing Tessa's beauty-sweet, right?)**

**Anyway! You guys know what to do! R&R and I hope you enjoyed this because I enjoyed writing this! :)**

**Disclaimer: I own only the plot.**

**Xoxo!**

**~Caitlyn :)**


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